How to Travel on a Budget like a Bad-Ass – Freedom Junkie® Tips for How to Live a Life of Fun, Passion, and Freedom Without Going Broke

I’ve traveled a LOT. I’ve filled two passports in my lifetime so far (I’m 38), and one even had extra pages, which I’m really proud of;) In fact, the first passport I filled was when I was making less than $14,000 a year. It might have even been less than $11,000 a year but I’d hate to exaggerate. Learning how to travel on a budget doesn’t have to break the bank.

I started my independent travels when in college, on scholarship, working for the Outdoor Recreation Department at UC Santa Cruz to make a bit of extra cash. I was also a New York Times campus paper girl. Suffice it to say, I wasn’t rolling in the dough.

And I didn’t just travel. I danced naked at drum circles on the beach and howled at the moon. I somehow still ate sushi and drank nice wine. I went on full-moon mountain bike rides. I went to hot springs on ocean cliffs as the waves sprayed me under the stars. I climbed mountains and kayaked with dolphins. I surfed, and fell in love on rooftops in Kathmandu.

My life was pretty Badass – and stayed Badass even after I graduated and entered “the real world.”

I want you to know you don’t have to work your ass off for only a few weeks of adventure a year. You can live a super FUN life, every day, even on a budget.

Here are some tips I’ve learned after years of preferring time over money of how to travel on a budget:

Freedom Junkie Tip #1 Expand Your Comfort Zone

Many friends said to me, “I wish I could travel like you. I just can’t afford to!” I’d think, “What??? You make $60,000 a year! Or even $90,000 a year! (Or more!) How could you not afford to when I pulled it off making less than $14,000 a year?”

It wasn’t lost on me that I lived out of my Volvo stationwagon with prayer flags, and that my only utility bill was my cell phone.

True: Lifestyle and comfort zone count. When you don’t require your outside temperature to be in homeostasis 100% of the time, it’s much more affordable. It’s really expensive to do otherwise (e.g. “The Venetian” in Vegas)

What do YOU need to feel comfortable and have a good time? Do you REALLY have to have air conditioning all the time when its a wee bit hot out? Do you REALLY need to have Starbucks coffee wherever you go? Do you REALLY need to have feather pillows and hot water (even if it is 90F out)?

If so, plan on working a LOT to pay for short vacations, because it is pretty tough to meet those standards in most awesome vacation spots, so it will cost you a pretty penny. (Although I have to admit that my friend Chris Guillebeau has managed to do the 4-star thing on a budget too. That’s advanced, but learnable!).

When you expand your comfort zone, you have a whole lot of options that open up – and a lot of great adventures to be had as well!

Freedom Junkie Tip #2 Go for the experience, and not the things

A lot of people come back from vacations talking about how awesome their vacation was because their hotel had an infinity pool and they had a kick-ass flat screen TV and the weather was awesome. Those things ARE all awesome. However, if you can’t afford the TV or the infinity pool, know that meeting a local because you were friendly and social, then getting invited to a party by them, then eating new and strange food they cooked over a fire, and partaking in a neighborhood illegal lobster hunt (before you knew it was illegal), makes for a way better “No shit, there I was!” story. By the way, this doesn’t just happen while traveling. I had the best time in San Francisco – the city I was BORN in – when I ran into some people, socialized, and got invited to the $5 Party Bus for a raucous evening of live, mobile, performing art. My friend found was telling me about how he managed to go on a great trip in his caravan. He doesn’t have a ton of money but he got a great loan from Auto Finance Online. I’d say its worth a look if you’re interested in finding the right caravan for your travels.

Be present, and stop wanting to be doing something or being with someone or being somewhere other than what is happening right now. There is so much juicy life to be had in the here and now, so many opportunities for mini-adventures if we’d just stop looking past the present.

Freedom Junkie Tip #3 What to eat, drink, and buy

Don’t drink too much alcohol unless you budget for it. Alcohol is the most expensive thing in restaurants at home or when you travel. You can get an entire dinner in Thailand for $3 but then spend the same for a glass of wine.

Cook a lot and eat out less while at home AND while traveling. People who cook really well, making yummy simple meals, are badass – and people will think it is really cool that you can do it too.

Learn to LOVE – absolutely LOVE – beans and rice.

This is obvious but I wanted to remind you because people used to make fun of me for doing it as a kid: get your clothes used. In fact, get lots of things used. Don’t buy crappy used. Buy quality used. Shabby chic but the for-realz shabby chic. The pic of our yurt in Alaska – everything recycled – is to the left.

Don’t be afraid to eat street food when traveling unless you ALWAYS get really sick. Some people are constitutionally weaker in the GI tract. Go to the busy people. Street food is under scrutiny by locals as well, and locals know who has nasty street food or who doesn’t take care of or clean their equipment well.

Having said that, be willing to get a little diarrhea and not be pissed about it. Traveling to cool places means new cool bugs. If you practice general sanitation guidelines like washing your hands, carrying hand disinfectant (and using it), and drinking clean water, you’ll be fine enough. A tablet of ciprofloxacin 500mg will take care of most stomach bugs anyway. And Pepto Bismol is the shit. Ha Ha.

Beer is cheaper than wine. Stick to beer or the local moonshine, or go to the wine specials section and buy by the case.

Freedom Junkie Tip #4 Independent Budget Travel

I still employ a lot of the tactics I used back when I was less financially abundant when I travel now. I call it “Dirtbag By Choice.” Budget travel is more exciting to me, even though I don’t “have” to travel that way. And these days, I find it is also safer, as independent travelers are less of a target for mean people (like terrorists) than if you’re hanging out in a 4-star hotel (we were sleeping on a cargo boat in Timbuktu when terrorists came to a hotel in the city).

The most expensive thing about traveling to the places I go to is the plane ticket. After that, if border crossings are involved, it’s visa fees. After that, it’s beer.

Having said that, here are a few tips on budget travel:

  • Be willing to spend more on a ticket to travel someplace with a super low cost of living. I would save up and fly to Nepal for $1800, and spend $600 the whole month I was there. Conversely many of my friends blow $400-600 per DAY in Vegas or Hawaii. Or freakin’ Disneyland with kids. It’s even better if you can stay longer after traveling so far. I’d stay in Nepal for 3 months at a time. However, if $1800 freaks you out, or you can’t stay for longer periods of time, or both: you can get to Mexico on Alaska Airlines for around $300-400 fairly regularly. And two fresh fish tacos with yummy guacamole and a cold Tecate or Dos Equis will cost you about $5-6. Beach camping is free in many spots.
  • Celebrate that you can still eat, drink, and sleep well on a budget if you go to the right places. I could spend $400 a month in India while eating and drinking VERY well. Yes, I had to go face to face with cockroaches twice, and a rat once. But that is CHEAP! And know that in most countries, those things are in fancy places too. They’re just better hidden;) In Thailand I could stay in bungalows on the beach – ON THE BEACH with a wonderful fan, which I much prefer over A/C – for $15-20.
  • What if you don’t like to travel to developing countries but want to fly somewhere? Hawaii. You can camp. And cook over a fire. And rent your own kayaks instead of going on a tour. I went to Hawaii and spent: $300 plane ticket (Hawaiian Airlines) from SFO, free camping (or tops it would be $10/night), a bowl of tasty poke with rice $7-9, cook breakfast (actually not that cheap to buy groceries there, ironically!) $6. Car rental was $180 for the week (90), and gas was $120 for two, total. One week in Hawaii, all inclusive per person: around $640. I brought my own snorkeling gear.
  • Don’t travel at peak times. Avoid spring break, Holidays, etc. Look into the Holidays of where you are going too. I once went to Istanbul during Ramadan, which was followed by their Spring break. Domestic flights were booked for two weeks straight over my Holiday. You can view all domestic flights here if you’re interested in booking some.
  • Be flexible with your dates when buying plane tickets. A day can make a huge difference in airfare. I was going to fly to New York once and saved $350 by leaving a day earlier.
  • Get a frequent flyer rewards credit card and use it to buy EVERYTHING. And pay it off in full every month. Some people even get several rewards credit cards. That scares me. But I admit to having two, which I pay off in full. I earn at least 2-3 round trip tickets a year (to fly to the equivalent of Europe for each one, miles-wise), because one comes with a companion fare of $99 a year as well. I once bought a car on my credit card and paid it off the next week (I’d saved for it)…but I got the points!
  • Use airline consolidators. These are different than companies like Travelocity or Kayak. I saw a ticket on Travelocity to Dakar for $3200. When I called the consolidator, it was $1600. Now THAT’s what I’m talking about!
  • Travel WITH someone. Splitting things like cabs/rickshaws/meals/a bottle of wine is way cheaper. However, make sure they are trained. My boyfriend used to debate whether $3 more is worth it for an attached bathroom. It is if he wants to have sex. He now knows to not ask if I think it will be “worth it.”
  • Don’t go with a tour. Maybe a package deal can be worth it if they get good airfare plus hotel…but I tend to move a lot from city to city, so I never come out ahead with the hotel deals. However, I once bought a plane ticket/hotel combo to Baja and never used the hotel portion. The airfare was just cheaper that way. I know. Weird.
  • Plan ahead– tickets are always more expensive when you buy within 2 weeks…unless you’re like me and call last-minute and say, “Hey, I have 3- days off. Where can I go for super cheap right now?” Sometimes there are crazy-good last-minute deals, but you’ll have less choice about where to go. Vegas seems to pop up a lot…which is cool because I don’t gamble, but I do like climbing in Red Rocks. This also applies to different experiences you can participate in. For example, buying pre-booked tickets for a whale watching California experience would be more reasonable than buying one on the day. Plan ahead and you WILL save yourself money.
  • Use independent travel guides like Lonely Planet and The Rough Guide to help you do things your own way. Get on their forums and discover killer sample itineraries for wherever you want to go. People can even give you updated ferry schedules etc for cities you want to visit!
  • I sometimes get the itineraries from cool travel companies like Mountain Travel Sobek (who kicks ass, by the way – I used them for Bhutan because you HAVE to go with a guide in Bhutan and it was epic). Once you get their well-researched itin, you can then figure out how to do their itinerary on your own. Sahweet! I did a four-day itin in Cambodia en route to Bhutan from Bangkok. I planned a four-day layover in Bangkok before flying out to Bhutan. Their cost for the Angkor Wat “additional leg” of the trip? $650 per person for two or more, $985 for a solo traveler. Mine? $450-500 (with plane ticket). BTW I just want to point out – if you can afford Sobek, go on at least one trip with them. They are crazy good. And thanks for the itin tips, Sobek;)
  • Carry a mosquito net (if applicable) so you don’t have to stay in a fancy hotel just to avoid getting malaria. Plus, if you ever want to sleep on an open-air cargo boat like I did on the River Niger in Mali, you can do so comfortably.
  • Take second class trains and busses. You don’t need first class. It is usually freezing from out-of-control A/C in first class, and you won’t get to meet the locals. The exception is some buses, on which first class is the only way to guarantee your bus MIGHT have brakes (“guarantee” and “might”…oxymoron?). But in those countries, even first class is cheap. Third class is usually nasty – even to locals. I don’t do it unless I absolutely have to.
  • Be a woman. Once I met my boyfriend, my travel budget got cut (except maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought because we split things). I used to get so much free stuff. Flights. Food. Drink. Sailing trips. And no, I didn’t even have to have sex for it. In India, there are freakin’ LINES just for women. You can bypass 30 men to get in the lady’s line and get the last two tickets to Shangrila. Sahweet!

Freedom Junkie Tip #5 Camp

Sleeping outside is one of the coolest things to like to do. You can do SO MUCH for so cheap, be in stunningly beautiful places, and usually meet hilarious characters – especially if you’re willing to go a bit out of your way.

Learn to like sleeping on the ground. You will get to do much cooler shit for hardly any money if you don’t need a fancy bed. You can get a comfy sleeping mat, or better yet, backs tend to like firm surfaces, so you can try to learn to like something as simple as a carpet then more power to you! Most would enjoy investing in a really comfy sleeping pad if you need to. The super luxurious ones can cost up to $200+, but you’ll sleep like a baby, and you’ll save that in hotel room rates immediately.

Go to national parks: I buy a national park pass every year. $80 Unlimited admission to National Parks and Monuments (those can be $20 a pop!). Camp in the walk-in campgrounds so you don’t have to spend $20/night on camping. Or spend $20 a night on camping. It’s still cheap.

Check out alternative sleeping structures – some parks and tourist outdoorsy spots have SUPER nice things to rent out like yurts (that some with wood and kitchen supplies) which are really popular on the Oregon Coast, treehouses, fancy canvas wall tents…there are lots of new creative things to stay in! And most are quite romantic…at least for me!

If you have to choose, go for more time than money. There’s a saying:

On either side of the socioeconomic spectrum exists a leisure class

The luxury of time exists with the very rich or the un/underemployed. I fell in the latter for a long time (by choice). Not a lot of money, but a hell of a lot of time.

In my experience, having made anywhere from $11,000 a year to a super awesome 6-figure income, I had a LOT more time to have fun when I made less money. I have spent years learning how to make money AND have more time, but barring you taking the time to do the same, don’t sweat it if you are in a time vs money situation. If you have time, USE IT. Once you make a lot of money in the traditional sense, time costs more;)

(Note: If you don’t have a hell of a lot of money AND not a whole lot of time, we need to chat.)

Freedom Junkie Tip #6 What to Do

Do yoga. You will deal with all discomforts – mental and physical – much more skillfully and with more grace. Also, BONUS! : You’ll be much more comfortable sleeping on cargo ships and enduring long bus rides…and sleeping on the ground (which, as we’ve established, is uber fun).

Learn a little bit of the language and cultural customs wherever you go, even if that’s only a different part of town – and even it’s only basic phrases and simple niceties. When you travel – especially budget travel – you have much more interaction with locals, because pretty much the whole world is on a budget. Knowing their language will make interactions much more pleasant and interesting. Pictionary skills are awesome. And hand gestures. Get proficient at these.

Smile. Not only do people open their hearts and homes to pleasant people, you can get lots of free shit and at least avoid a lot of hassles by being pleasant, both here and abroad. As one Jersey cop told me, “You’ll catch a lot more flies with honey than with vinegar” Why he said that is another story;)

I’d love to hear more ideas about how to live a Badass Life on a budget. Please leave a comment below and share your ideas with us! I’ll definitely reply. Promise;)

PS: for more Über useful tips and beta on adventure travel on a budget and lifestyle-based businesses, check out Chris Guillebeau’s stuff like “Frequent Flyer Master” and his other programs. He’s all about freedom (like us!) and we speaka da same language. This is my affiliate link, BTW, because he and I help each other out. So I may get to buy a coffee on you if you use it, and it doesn’t cost you any more either. Sahweet 😉

Note: Ana Verzone (Neff) is a personal life coach, mentor and FreedomJunkie® She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Ziji Up! ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting FreedomJunkie.com.

How Does Oil Pulling Work?

yogaimage-200x130Would swishing oil in my mouth make me more sexy to my boyfriend? Or help me be smarter at work? Or speed up my weight loss?

Claims like these seem to be all over the media these days, and I am receiving a ton of email questions about oil pulling. I figured I’d write up a quick post to help fill all you Freedom Junkies in on this cool Ayurvedic practice, and what its most likely benefits are.

In oil pulling, you swish oil around in your mouth for 10-20 minutes a day, typically with sesame or coconut oil. I prefer coconut oil as it is a bit lighter than sesame, but to each his/her own! Traditionally you can also use oil that has had herbs infused in it for a more medicinal effect.

Ayurveda seems particularly obsessed with oil – especially ghee and sesame oil – and in Ayurveda, we stick oil in all sorts of places – ears, nose, mouth…hey now!

So how can oil pulling have so many benefits other than making your mouth all smooth and silky-like? I mean, people talk about oil pulling helping with arthritis/joint pain, thyroid issues, and even diabetes and heart disease!

Dr. Douillard shared this quote from a traditional Ayurvedic text:

“Keeping of oil gargle provides strength in jaws and voice, development of the face, maximum taste and relish of food. One does not suffer from dryness of throat, lip cracking and teeth become firmly rooted. The teeth do not ache or become sensitive and can chew the hardest food items.”

Nada about the rest of the body.

Modern studies have shown fairly good evidence for oral health with oil pulling – control of bacterial overgrowth that can contribute to gingivitis, as well as improved plaque control. Same as the ancient texts! And many people also claim whiter teeth.

We also now know the connection of dental health to the rest of the body. For example, over my career as a nurse midwife, it became cleat the oral health, and periodontal disease in particular, is linked to pre-term labor. We also know that when people with certain heart diseases like abnormal heart rhythms or artificial valves receive dental work, they need to receive antibiotic prophylaxis (prevention) because unhealthy oral bacteria can adversely affect the heart and cause grave consequences for those peeps. So if you think about it – even if you don’t have a heart disease or aren’t pregnant, there is a clear association between oral health and the rest of your body.

Which means the benefits of oil pulling on the rest of the body can make some sense, eh?

So why oil?

Well, Ayurveda LOVES using oil for detoxification because somehow, way back when, they knew that many toxins were bonded by oil and pulled out by the oil from the body. So it is smeared on the skin, swished in the mouth, and consumed in considerable quantities during active detoxification.

These days science has shown us that many toxins (like pesticides, heavy metals, certain hormones etc) are lipid soluble – so they will like to dissolve into/attach to oil in the body, like your fat cells (ew!).

Dr. Douillard of LifeSpa writes, “This use of oil as a detox accelerator or “pulling” agent has been recently studied. In one study, the external use of sesame oil in massage and the ingestion of ghee were found to reduce lipid peroxides or free radicals in the blood. The researchers concluded that the lipophilic effect of the oils helps pull free radicals and toxins out of the blood.” He also mentions other studies that support the same effect.

Translation: oil applied to the skin decreased levels of certain toxins in the blood.

Our mucosa – which lines our nose and mouth and GI tract, for example – is known to allow very good access to our bloodstream. Hence the popularity of snorting through the nose as an effective way to get drugs like cocaine into the system. In fact, in terms of delivering many drugs – recreational or not – the nasal and oral mucosa allow some of the most direct access to our inner bodies second to only injecting straight into the blood stream! So it makes sense that using oils and herbs like tumeric in the mouth can have decent access to our inner body and with pulling toxins from our systems, for fat-soluble toxins.

 How to Oil Pull

  • I like to do it in the morning after I scrape my tongue, floss and brush my teeth and drink some water.
  • You can heat up sesame oil by placing your bottle of oil into some hot water for a few minutes, or with coconut oil it melts easily in the mouth. You can use 1-3 tsp. of the oil. Coconut oil is lighter in texture than sesame oil.
  • Hold the oil in your mouth or actively swish it through your mouth for 10-20 minutes. Some people are actually able to meditate with the oil in their mouth. That would be awfully convenient, but I’d drool oil all over my face if I tried that. I tend to make tea, gather my belongings for the day, pick out what I’m going to wear etc as I swish the oil around.
  • When you’re done, you can spit it out, preferably into the trash so that you don’t clog up your drains with oil.
  • Rinse with water

If this is a bit much for you (some people get nauseated or just grossed out) try using less oil at first, or if you’re using sesame try coconut oil, of vice versa.

Oh – and BTW, if you are pregnant, you may not want to oil pull because you technically don’t want to release toxins rapidly when you are pregnant. Pregnancy and birth and breastfeeding are their own kind of detox alltogether;)

So there you have it! Pull on!

Have you tried oil pulling? What was your experience with it? Are you wanting to try it but are hesitant? Let me know below (and I’ll see if I can help you out if you have questions!!.

If you’d like to learn more about Ayurveda, detoxing, and oil pulling, check out my Ayurveda Spring Cleanse starting in April! It’s based around Dr. Douillard’s Ayurvedic Colorado Cleanse, which totally rocks! You can join us as late as April 7th, 2014, but we start prepping together April 1st – so come to the partay as soon as you can! Check out www.FreedomJunkie.com/vedaspringcleanse

Top 10 Reasons to Do a Cleanse

Fotolia_12980564_XS-200x133“When you fast, the Light will illuminate you and spread on earth.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

“Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food.” ~ Hippocrates

Warning – I am about to brag…just a little, but it’s part of the story.

Something I have been hearing a lot of lately is, “Damn girl, you’re lookin’ good for being, like, 46!” and “I WISH I had as much energy as you!”

First of all, I just want to point out that you are not supposed to look shitty when you’re, “like, 46.” But that’s beside the point.

The point is that I don’t dye my hair, do plastic surgery, or have a medi-spa membership. I don’t think there is necessarily anything wrong with those things, but I just wanted to let you know I don’t do them myself – yet;) Freedom Junkie truism: Never say, “Nevah!”

I also don’t drink coffee (it gives me panic attacks, which sucks, because I LOVE the flavah!), I don’t use “energy drinks,” and I don’t eat sugar (heaven help you if you’re around me on a sugar rush). I haven’t always had a lot of energy. In fact, there are days when I can be a downright lazy mo-fo. But that’s usually when I am not partaking in my usual energizing activities (more on those later).

I admit that once I had some sun spots lasered off my face, but after I looked like a leper for two weeks and then got sunburned doing a solo climb of Mount Shasta in the clouds (’tis true what they say about cloudy days) after which they immediately CAME BACK, I never returned for another treatment. I am meant to be spotted. Like the badass owl.

A few examples of what I DO partake in to boost my energy and youthful mistress look are regular exercise, a pretty damn good sleeping pattern considering I could stay up all night doing my passion work (and other passionate things, winky winky!) and have a little baby, yoga 5 times a week, and random kitchen dancing to old-school salsa and hip hop until I am dripping with sweat. Solo.

However, this article is about the one thing that I discovered after my cancer diagnosis (10 years ago!) that I am pretty sure has made the biggest difference of all. I believe it keeps me and many other people happy and healthy as ever – even though we’re, “like, 40.”

This, my friends, is {drumroll} doing a supah yummy seasonal cleanse at least 2 times a year.

My friend, Ajana Miki, N.D., lead the first cleanse I ever did, and it changed my life. I like to do “nutritive” cleanses in the Spring and Fall (and definitely if I am doing one in the winter). This means that unlike a lot of cleanses or fasts, I can eat quite a variety and quantity of food, including various types of high-quality of protein.

I mainly cut the bad boys out, like sugar, caffeine, alcohol, gluten, dairy, etc., add pharmaceutical-grade organic supplements to detox and support my body, consume more superfoods, smoothies and green juices, and am more mindful about sleep, exercise, and meditation. The more intense cleanses and fasts I save for doing either one day a week, the final week of my 3-week cleanses, or for the summertime, when those more “extreme” cleanses feel more appropriate for my body – and the weather;)

Here are my Top 10 reasons to Do a Supah Yummy Spring Cleanse RIGHT NOW!

First, there are the obvious physical reasons:

1. Weight loss (and maintenance). Caveat: This isn’t about body image (although it might be for you). It’s about staying at a healthy weight where your risk for disease and premature death is lower, yo. This benefit is for realz. People often loose at least 5 pounds. I sometimes loose more if I’ve been on the – ahem – rather unhealthy side (read: too much wine or cheese or both). On the maintenance side, this basically means you are likely taking off the weight that accumulated while you started eating and drinking like crap after your last cleanse. And when you do them regularly, they can help you maintain your weight because you’re not waiting until your weight is way out of control before moving back to healthier eating habits.

2. When done regularly, cleanses provide a kind of re-set for your tasty-buds, training your tasty-buds (as my friend Shauna likes to call them;) and the rest of your body to like healthier food again. We train ourselves to prefer certain flavors, and fat, sugar, and salt are easy to become addicted to on the flavor scale. It’s just how we’re built!

Once you eat a healthier diet for awhile (say, for the length of a cleanse), you can train yourself to prefer the fresher and more subtle flavors of whole, real foods. This means you are re-setting your body to consume healthier foods with more vitamins, minerals, anti-oxidants, anti-cancer agents, and all that good shizzle – and LIKE it!

3. Allergy relief, often with less mucus, congestion, skin problems, and coughs. This is especially true for many peeps when eliminating gluten and dairy. I notice when I get massages on a cleanse, my nose doesn’t get all stuffy, most obvious when I am asked to turn onto my back and I am actually able to breathe. Seasonal allergies can improve (if not eliminated, they are often less severe), and people often experience easier breathing while exercising, as well as less coughing or shortness of breath, even if they don’t have an official diagnosis of asthma.

4. No matter how healthfully we eat, we live in an increasingly toxic world. The body’s defenses are made up of the liver, kidneys, colon, as well as healthy skin and immune system functioning. However, when we are continuously exposed to toxins and pollutants in the air we breathe, eating non-organic food, and drinking chemicalized or contaminated water, it puts a lot of stress on our defenses and detoxification systems as they struggle to keep up. Eventually, these toxins can build up and cause disease and the other big bummer known as low energy.

Add to this things like binge-drinking, prescription as well as recreational drugs, pharmaceutical grades of jet fuel coffee, and being a couch potato, our poor body is like, “Hey there! Can I interrupt your Bacchanalian fiesta of a life? I can sort of deal with this, and I am doing a pretty damn good job of it, but will you puh-lease cut me a break?!” This can manifest as getting sick easily (aka: forced rest), low energy, skin rashes, constipation or diarrhea, headaches, and body pains, etc.

Cleansing helps you detoxify and gives your system a break so you can continue to kick ass for as long as possible on this gorgeous planet.

5. More energy. ‘Nuf said. Well, I’ll say a bit more: Cleansing also kick-starts your metabolism. After you cleanse, your metabolism becomes more efficient – it more easily creates energy and eliminates wastes that bring your energy level down. If you continue to adopt a healthy diet and lifestyle for a bigger chunk of the year through regular cleansing, you will feel healthier for more of the year too!

6. You look better. Your skin glows, you carry yourself taller with more energy and confidence, your belly is flatter since it isn’t so bloated all the time and you’re pooping more regularly, and you just freakin’ RADIATE health. I can see it in others all the time. One of my yoga teachers, Melissa Cooley, was doing an Ayurvedic cleanse, and when we were in a workshop together (my Ziji Up! Mastery Program, in fact!), everyone kept saying to her, “You look so radiant! You’re glowing!” Yup. Da cleanse.

7. Your aches and pains can disappear. As you eliminate foods you are intolerant or allergic to, as well as stop eating crap food, toxins can more easily be eliminated from your body, and your inflammation levels go down – and you feel better in your body. Yummy;)

The following reasons are more subtle, and they have to do with the deeper shizzle, the emotional and spiritual levels of cleansing.

7. We are NOT our habits. Our habits are choices that we repeat over and over, and when we make the same choices over and over, we create a comfort zone, whether we like it or not.

It’s not called a “comfort zone” because it is necessarily “comfortable.” Being bloated and constipated isn’t comfortable. But the habit of eating things we have an intolerance for – like pasta and cheese – keeps us in the comfort zone.

More correctly, it is called a comfort zone because when you try something different from it, you are uncomfortable. And sometimes extremely so.

With this aspect of the cleanse, you directly deal with your habits, stretching beyond your comfort zones, and the way your habits may be masking some difficult truths.

** I believe it is THIS part of cleansing that is the reason most people avoid doing a cleanse at all. **

It’s not so much that they can’t physically do without their cheese. It’s that they can’t do with the emotional discomfort that arises without it.

In this part of the cleanse, you may become in tune with how stressed out your job makes you when you aren’t automatically unwinding after work with a class (or several) of wine. And that can be a sucky thing to realize.

You can become very aware of how depleted your energy stores might be when you finally aren’t having your regular coffee in the morning (don’t worry – there are versions of cleanses that allow some caffeine if that is a deal-breaker for you ;).

You might not know what to do when you can’t automatically munch on a bag of chips because you’re bored, or slam down the ice cream because you’re boyfriend pissed you off. And you bite your nails wondering why the hell you did this stupid cleanse.

8. Often, our habits are our way of self-medicating, and cleansing keeps you real with yourself. Cleansing make sure you are staying on your path, staying in line with your values, keeps you in integrity. It makes sure all of you is heading in the same direction = your dreams.

It does this by not allowing you to hide, even if its harder to face it all.

Even after all I’ve just said, you may still be wondering, “So…why go there?” Let me tell you this:

It is über-liberating (Hello, FREEDOM JUNKIES!), when, on day 9 of a cleanse, you fall asleep easily and effortlessly without needing your after-work martini; or when you meet a friend for lunch feeling clear and energetic, and and you haven’t even missed your morning coffee.

The Tibetan Buddhist nun who taught me to meditate when I was 18 years old, Robina Courtin, told me that what she loved most about quitting smoking was not needing a cigarette anymore. She was giving a teaching on attachment, and she went on and on about the freedom and liberation of not NEEDING something outside of yourself to feel good.

It was a very powerful impression.

9. Increased mental clarity. When we get rid of toxins and distractions, we have more time and space for seeing this clearly, for experiencing life as it is, with fewer filters of gobbledygook in our system that fog things up. This is particularly true on deeper cleanse days like juice fasts.

In this spaciousness, we have room fill ourselves up with connections with nature, to be closer to our Higher Power, or whatever else truly fills us up.

10. You become more in touch with your body. When you are more in touch with your body, you will be less likely to have unhealthy habits, you will more easily be able to tune in to the intuition that your body offers you, and you will cultivate a level of self-love that is much needed!

Whew! So now that you know how AWESOME cleanse is on the mind, body, and spirit levels- are you ready? There are a lot of cleanse books out there, but a cleanse that is über-easy and fun to start with can be found in Kris Carr’s book, Crazy Sexy Diet (it focuses on an anti-inflammatory diet). I’ll also be posting more details about the kind of cleanses I like to do on my blog this Spring – so keep an eye out!

If you’re a little nervous about starting a cleanse on your own, come join other Freedom Junkies for our Seasonal Cleanses! They happen every Spring, Summer, Fall and a shorter detox in Winter, just after the new year. In the Freedom School, we do seasonal cleanses together while we are also work on our jedi mindtricks. After all – it’s all connected, right? No one ever became enlightened eating Cheetos on a couch. Freedom School opens on December 1st. Go to www.joinfreedomschool.com when you’re ready. We can’t wait to have you in the tribe!

Do You Feel a Call to Adventure?

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“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are built for.” ~ William Shedd

One of the classic stages of the Hero’s Journey is the Call to Adventure, where a person stops living an average life, the separation from society and life as you know it begins, and shit starts to get interesting. And check this out: it’s not just meant for Luke Skywalker. This journey is meant for you as well.

You are not here on this planet to be bored, to sit in front of a TV watching other people living epic lives. You are not meant to be wasting moments of your precious life slaving away for someone else’s dreams. You are not meant to spend all your time indoors safe and cozy and totally comfortable in an insulated lil’ life. Au contraire, mon amie.

Sorry to break it to ya, but you are a ship built for adventure, and if you’re in harbor, you’re going to hear this calling pretty damn soon – if you haven’t already.

What does this “call” sound like? Well, according to Joseph Campbell, it’s like a phone ringing. Isn’t that convenient?

heros_journey4_8462Unfortunately, it’s not always what I’ve noticed. Sometimes this call is a bit – ahem – less pleasant than a ringtone. Sometimes, this call to adventure manifests as full-blown panic attacks, night sweats, low-level anxiety that has you feeling things are not as they should be…a restlessness that can’t be verbalized that has you feeling you are not living your life to the fullest…but you don’t know what else you’re supposed to do.

That’s what I’ve seen it feel like – in myself, in my clients, and even in movies! There’s this flick I totally stumbled upon called Wanted, with Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy, and this guy has panic attacks and medicates himself to keep them under control…but you end up learning that it stems from the fact that he isn’t living his purpose, which is as a gifted badass spiritual assassin of sorts. He had all these superpowers pent up inside, and they were telling him to let them the hell out – in the form of anxiety.

You can see this stage in every epic story, like the Star Wars series (in particular, Empire Strikes Back – my favorite!), the Matrix, Lord of the Rings…but what we forget is that ALL of us – yes, all of us mere mortals – are called to undertake the Hero’s Journey.

Have you been hearing this call but ignoring it? Or have you heard it and taken action? The Separation that occurs with the Call to Adventure can be kind of nerve-racking, to say the least. But the coolest part is knowing that it feels that way because things are about to change – for the better. You leaving harbor is always, always better – because THAT is what you are built for.

I’d love for you to share your thoughts about the Call to Adventure, Separation, and what YOUR ship is going to do once it leaves harbor below. I read all of it, so know I’ll respond to you!

Why Do-Overs Kick Ass

Fotolia_6075754_Subscription_L-200x133Regrets are brutal. They are energy vampires. Happiness slayers. Joy slammers.

The thing is – we wake up every day with the potential to start over! That cliché about “today is a new day” is totally true…even though you may want to throw rotten veggies at someone saying it to you in the moment. Here’s why:

When we feel regret about something – your last relationship, your birth experience, how you handled your last argument with your partner or friend – we can stay open to a time and space that feels similar to that moment/resonates with that moment. Then, we can see that moment of resonance with the past as an opportunity to create a new one. As my colleague, Dr. Claudia Welch, says, “That new space/time makes the old new again, and we are then allowed to have a ‘do-over.'” Really? Yes.

For example, I think about how lately I’ve been leaning more into my morning ritual, and making sure I prioritize it so that I start the day off fresh and inspired and grounded. This helps me feel at ease with all the mornings that I wasted away with lazily sleeping in (which, BTW, is perfectly fine if it doesn’t bother you or throw off your day!), gluten or wine hangovers, or ruminating about all my worries. I am making up for those big time, because my NEW mornings are infused with freakin’ magic, peeps. My mornings, even before a day filled with ho-hum errands, are started with epic spiritual refining and tuning-in.

I’ve been working with many of my clients in developing these morning rituals as well, and they are reporting massive results – more energy, more creativity, more groundedness, more juicy living. You see, mornings are energetically in alignment with the beginnings of our lives, and with every other new day in the past, so we can harness that and create a new experience and oust the regrets – every morning! In Ayurveda, this is particularly true, and this philosophy or health places a big emphasis on moments and transitions throughout the day. Each moment, each day, is so full of potential for changing how we experience life.

Think of how you start your days. Do you wake up at the last minute so you are rushing out of the house and spilling your tea or coffee everywhere? Do you lie in bed for minutes or hours putting off shit you need to get done? Do you feel foggy and sluggish because of eating unhealthfully or living a less-than-healthy lifestyle? You can indeed do it differently in the morning. And really, when you honor and reshape your mornings to a ritual that serves you best, you can honor and reshape your early life experiences too! Like childhood, birth, or other powerful beginnings like giving birth, starting a new stage in life, starting a new relationship. Cool, eh?

In Tibetan Buddhism there is a four-step formula for making amends with a regret (also applicable to apologizing). It involves:

  • recognize that either there was an experience you regret having had, or that perhaps you did something wrong – or let’s take the judgment out of it and change “wrong” to “something you weren’t so proud of”
  • sit with the feeling of remorse and regret so that you don’t half-ass it and have it lingering sneakily behind you for months or years. Feel it fully, knowing you can release it.
  • move into a place of compassion for yourself (and the person you’ve harmed if it is applicable). Notice the whole “compassion for yourself” part! Don’t skip over that! In fact, start with it.
  • then, set the intention that you won’t do it again and take a positive action. So if you stole something, you could give something away when you saw someone in need. If you hurt someone with aggressive language, you can more openly and quickly forgive someone for the same infraction and send them loving kindness.

The new moments that resonate with the old are perfect opportunities for taking this new, positive action.

But get this: not only is every day a new day, but every MOMENT is fertile with opportunity to create something new. Whatcha think about that?

What about the rest of your day? Do you spend your free time perusing other people’s successes and feeling bad about where you are at? Do you go to bed checking your email and thinking about all the shizzle you have to get done tomorrow? Do you say “I’m sorry” just for speaking or taking up space or asking for advice or help? These are all energy suckers!

You can instead examine why you are apologizing. You can examine why you are obsessed about everything you have to do tomorrow (what’s the story you tell yourself about what happens, or who it means you are, if you don’t get everything done?). You can examine why you are jealous about someone else’s success and are focusing on that instead of creating your own. Often the motivator is some kind of regret, and we just need to stop that living-in-the-past shizzle if we are going to move forward with a life of freedom! Create a NEW way of approaching things when those feeling come up.

If you regret something and it is taking over your mind, choose RIGHT NOW to do something to offset it. And when you find a moment that resonates particularly powerfully with a regret, make a strong intention that how you handle it will help you release the old regret.

Do-overs kick ass. Share with me how you are going to do-over something soon – or a way in which  you have already – by commenting below!

End Overwhelm. Slow is Sexy!

meditationgrass-200x133“Stop the glorification of busy” ~ Anonymous viral internet quote (ironically)

Let’s get this straight – you can kick ass, rock your life, have big adventures, AND know how to take it slow, savoring every moment.

In fact, if you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re going to need to learn, or else you’ll burn out before you ever get to truly enjoy the fruits of your blood sweat and tears.

Trust me – I’ve been on the fast train a whole lot, whether it was jetting around to 22 countries a year or practically living in the hospital delivering babies because I thought it was the coolest thing ever (it IS pretty cool;). I love to stay up late and create, and I love to dance and sweat under the full moon until the sun rises.

But I can’t keep it up forever. Especially now that I’m 40, and life demands more from me than in previous life stages – in a good way!

If you’re only in your 20s, don’t waive this off as something to think about “later.” Trust me: you need to get this now too. And better sooner than later, because that way you’ll be able to rock it more fully for longer!

Let’s take a look at the woman many people admire these days: She gets up at 5am and runs 6 miles before work, power-houses it at the Corporation whilst slugging down her green juice, squeezing in a lunchtime yoga session and munching down a salad, then comes home after an hour in traffic, makes dinner, pounds out a presentation for the deadline, and hits the sack at 11pm, thoughts spinning about the next day and feeling happy, healthy, and strong, albeit exhausted.

Or if that isn’t your style, maybe you admire the woman who is on the vagabond road, perpetually traveling and adventuring and making the most of every moment, never sleeping in the same place for more than one night, not having an address or even cookware because she doesn’t have a kitchen. Or a home. Or a consistent community. But man, she is doing cool shit. And drinking whisky while she’s at it. Her motto? Sleep when you die. And she is obsessed with never, ever missing out. On anything. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) to the wazoo0ith degree. Yes, I made that word up.

Oh wait – that was me for few decades…

In any event, I bet these scenarios seem pretty sexy to a lot of you. This kind of sexiness sells. You’ve seen the corporate version of these “high-energy” women in TV shows like Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, Bones, and The Good Wife. Angelina Jolie is a role model for many young women, and manages to look hot, save the world, fly a plane, and have too many kids for me to remember. And spend a ton of time in Africa and other exotic continents between sex scenes.

Go go go and WIN! It’s what our society admires – having it all. At full speed ahead. And there’s nothing wrong with that, per se

The problem is, this isn’t sustainable. And that’s OK too – it doesn’t need to be sustainable. For the most part, if you take care of yourself, you are able to handle bursts of manic creativity and adventure. But the operative phrases are “if you take care of yourself” and “bursts” (not years of it).

I know women like the ones described above, and obviously I’ve lived like that too. And guess what? It catches up. You get a bunch of colds. You feel “foggy-headed,” or groggy. You have less energy and are constantly tired. You feel like you’re always “fighting off something.”

Or maybe you really let it get out of control and you get an auto-immune disease. You become bitchy. You gain weight, become an emotional eater. Or you lose too much weight. Feel chronic pain. Your hormones get out of whack. You act impatient. You have digestive problems and feel bloated and fart a lot. You have trouble sleeping. Your skin breaks out. And if you wait until menopause to get this figured out, this “transition” will particularly kick your ass.

Or in my case, maybe you get cancer. Twice, because you didn’t figure it out the first time.

For those of you who have been following me for awhile, you may remember the posts in my FullOn365 blog. There, after a second cancer snafoozle, I aspired to live every day Full On for an entire year. You’d think it was an exhausting year full of adventure after adventure. But an important lesson was that it became more about being fully present, fully IN whatever it was that I was doing, that made things feel FULL ON. It was less about what I was doing and more about how I was being – capiche?

Can you really have it all? Well, it depends what you mean. I believe you can have it all – just maybe not all at the same time.

So how can you have it all and balance it so you don’t burn out?

Here are 6 Tips for Ending Overwhelm:

1) Balance out having it all by prioritizing what is most important to you.

We need to be clear about what we want and what’s important to us: get clear about what’s important. If you haven’t yet, download my free Ultimate Getting Clear Guide from my website – the form to receive it is in the sidebar. It’s a great place to start! Also, check out this article I wrote on how to prioritize.

If we want to travel the world and save up for a house, which is the most pressing desire right now? Choose that. You can have the other as well, just maybe in a bit. And in the meantime, you can create a situation where you can try to make money WHILE traveling the world and have your cake and eat it too. But if you travel and spend, the fact that you aren’t saving for your house will wear at you in the back of your mind and eventually lead to overwhelm, exhaustion, and low self-esteem.

2) Address your highest priorities FIRST in your day.

If you know that to stay healthy and sane you need to sleep 8 hours, meditate for at least 10 minutes, and get in 20 minutes of yoga at a minimum, you better be dammed sure you schedule everything ELSE around those three things. As the article here describes, its nice to have 3-5 very clear things that you make as your priorities each day. They don’t have to just be self-care things either. They can be a passion project or a hobby.

Hint: at least a few of those things should be self-care though;)

3) Use your best energy time-of-day for yourself.

That means that if your best energy is in the morning, you do your self-care practices in the morning. If you are at your best in the evening, you make sure to do something lovely for yourself then too. Your work and caring for other people also flow well when you are in your energetic “zone,” but you need to prioritize yourself as well during this time. YOU deserve your best first. This will pay off in the end, so you don’t half-ass meeting your soul’s needs – or the needs of those you care about.

4) Make yourself go to bed early. You need it to replenish your energy – even if it feels like you don’t.

By that I mean early enough to feel refreshed the next day – whatever that is for you. If you don’t wake up feeling alert and awake, you’re not resting enough (or you need to detox, but that’s another topic we’ll address as we get closer to our next cleanse). Unless you are one of those Tibetan monks who can enter Stage IV deep sleep while meditating and remaining alert of your surroundings, you do need to sleep, gorgeous. Seven to eight hours a night. Sorry;)

5) Take naps if you need to so that don’t need stimulants later in day.

Sleeping enough will also help with this. You can get in a 20-min power nap at lunch for in that afternoon slump between 2-5pm if you have to.

Being tired in our culture is funny. If we’re hungry we’ll eat, if we’re thirsty we’ll drink, but if we’re tired we wonder, “What’s wrong?” Nothing’s wrong! You simply need to rest. “I can’t nap!” you may think. Well, if you’re tired. Simply lie down because that alone helps your body rejuvenate.

6) Avoid decision overload. Create routines!

This can, and will be, a blogpost in and of itself. We make so many decisions – like 30 decisions in only 5-10 seconds of being on Internet. Where do I click, where do I scan the page, which article do I pay attention to, how do I close that popup? Just look at the decisions we make around food and how often we think about and plan for meals and snacks – let alone making decisions around what the people who will be eating with us will need!

Having routines decreases the number of decisions we have to make. Simplify your menus, have a regular bedtime, create a morning routine that is non-negotiable (for the most part;)

People who make good decisions formulate life so they have to make fewer of them. They set up routines and clear boundaries and have clarity about what they want – and don’t want.

Hint: Make decisions after breakfast and lunch because decisions use so much energy and glucose that we actually make better decisions after having eaten.

OK, peeps! That’s 6 tips for now. Let me know below what works for you to help end overwhelm. The more tools we can have – and share – the better!

 

Want more? Sign up for my free Jedi Juice call this month: Slow is Sexy – End Your Overwhelm and the Glorification of Busy

How to Slow Down and Chill Out

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“In winter we lead a more inward life. Our hearts are warm and cheery, like cottages under drifts.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

“In the depth of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.” ~ Albert Camus

When I was studying Five Element Acupuncture, one of our assignments was to walk about in nature regularly, and simply take in what was going on during the various seasons – what the trees were doing, how the birds were sounding, in which way was the air was moving. Later, when studying Ayurveda, I received a similar assignment, and it didn’t surprise me that there was this similarity between the two health systems (among many other similarities). You see, these healing systems, which are thousands of years old, know a simple truth, the ignorance of which keeps us from living and thriving with ease: we are reflections and microcosms of nature, and need to follow its rules. Or else.

Or else what? Or else you will feel like shit, that’s what.

I know that’s kind of blunt, but it’s true. When we think we can live in a little bubble and never feel cold or heat or humidity or sunlight on our skin, or darkness on our mood, we are kidding ourselves! We are totally and completely affected by what’s going on outside, whether we have time to be IN it or not. So when we try to be and look and feel the same all year-round, we end up getting all whacked out! Imagine if any other thing in nature tried to do the same. They’d likely not just be uber-stressed, but they’d probably die.

Take a look at the trees around you – unless you’re in the tropics, they are likely showing evidence of the drawing inward that winter is famous for. Leaves are dropped, the energy is drawn in and stored in the core of their trunks and roots, and things are more still. Many animals hibernate, even big majestic ones, like bears. The sun rests more, and there is more darkness and stillness in each day. This is all for a reason, peeps! This is all so that we too can draw inward, do what needs to be done, and restore our reserves.

In Alaska, this change is particularly pronounced, and particularly necessary. In the summer, hardly any Alaskan sleeps much. The sun is out until midnight, the mountains are full of wildflowers and adventures, the rivers are pumping and people are out to play. Hard. We NEED winter to survive summer. We need to sleep long hours and be a little more still. Yet so many people don’t do this – they keep trying to go go go. Ski after work every day and go out to the clubs and hit up live music every week…

Some people feel this is what gives them energy in the winter. “It’s what keeps me going!” they say. But I often question this when the same people (myself as one of those in the not-so-distant past) are falling ill with colds and flus and coughs that last for weeks, or when they feel a wired buzz kind of energy instead of a steady, calm energy that s much easier to sustain.

If you’ve found you haven’t changed a thing about your routine since winter arrived other than your ski or snowboard wax, I’d like to invite you to try out these tips for aligning yourself with the season of Winter, and see what a difference it can make in your life – and in the way you feel on a day to day basis. You may find yourself feeling a little less overwhelmed and a little more grateful for the natural pause that winter creates. (PS: Please share with me your experience with these ideas below – that’s where the juiciness happens!)

12 Tips for Slowing Down and Chilling Out This Winter

1. Create a routine in the morning – Routines help us slow down and give our mind, body and spirit something to rely on – which allows us to relax on a deep level. I like to wake up, do a minimum of 10-20 minutes of yoga (10 when in a hurry), do some breathing exercises for three minutes, then meditate for a minimum of 5 minutes and an invigorating self massage for 3 minutes. If I have more time, I add more time and luxury to each of those (like more yoga or meditation, or using warm sesame or coconut oil for my massage before hopping into the shower). If in a hurry, the whole things takes only 20-25 minutes and I feel awesome afterwards! At first it annoyed me to wake up early enough (which meant going to bed early enough) to do these things, but now I crave them.

2. Make time for reflection, contemplation – Even just 5 minutes! This can even be a part of your morning ritual. Journal, meditate, or just sit and observe. As my friend Erin Rabke says, “Ground, Sound, Breath.” Focus on feeling your body and grounding down to the earth below you. Tune into the sounds around you, simply observing. And take some deep, full breaths. Simple, and kickass.

3. Avoid multitasking  – especially while eating! (Ironic, I know, as I write this while having lunch) I am afraid this is my weakness and I can’t offer much advice here. But I’m working on it;) What I DO know is that when you focus on one thing, you get it done faster and better than while multitasking, though!

4. Create an evening ritual to do before going to bed – maybe you take three deep slow breaths, or read in bed with your favorite book for 5 minutes. Or do gentle movement, like  2-4 gentle stretches, before bed.

5. Eat warmer, heavier foods with warm spices (ginger, black peper, cumin, coriander, “pumpkin pie” spices) and drink warm, spicy teas
6. Keep warm – Heat naturally slows us down and mellows us out. Think: lazy siesta on the beach. Sleep with a hot water bottle (yummm! you can even put it in bed before you get in to toast it up;)

7. Spend quality time with friends, where you actually get to connect and talk and listen, and not just shout above the sounds at the restaurant or make small talk at a party.

8. Try to sleep early, by 10 or 11pm at the latest. The sun will have been long gone in most places during the winter.  You’ll wake up more refreshed as you drop into the natural rhythm of the season.

9. Take an aromatherapy bath whenever possible. Baths take longer than showers. At first that might annoy you, but it does force you to slow down and chill out. I like lavender, frankincense, or rose oils for winding down (not together though!). But pick whatever suits you.

10. Drink herbal tea after work instead of having your usual cocktail or snack. Alcohol and sugar feel good at first, but usually have the opposite effect of over-stimulating you later.

11. Have regular periods of being unplugged EVERY DAY. Maybe you don’t check email at all during lunch and you just go for a walk and then read…

12. Turn off electronics at least 30 minutes before bed – create a “natural sunset” period to wind down (you can even literally turn down the lights!)

Ready to chill out? Go for it! And if you have more advice to add, please share it below. I’d LOVE to hear your favorite ways to slow down and chill out in the winter. The more tools in the toolkit, the better!

Urban Wellness Club – enrollment opens in November for 2019!

Next Enrollment Opens Fall 2019!

What’s all the fuss about?

If you’re anything like me, you’ve been frustrated at knowing that you need to make certain changes to achieve your ultimate level of wellness, but it can seem overwhelming to put it all into action.

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  • You know what you could be eating to be more healthfully.
  • You know you should be moving your body more
  • You know you need to stop your toxic thinking and get out of your own way
  • You know your body can heal itself if you just gave it what it needed to do it’s job
  • You know you are destined to feel energetic, confident, and freakin’ inspiring to others.
  • Yet all that is pretty hard to do when you are busy…or easily distracted…or too tired…or too much of any of the myriad reasons we have for putting off the important things in our lives.

You don’t need the Urban Wellness Club because you are clueless or because you are lazy.

You need it because you are a mindful, health-conscious woman who has a life you’d rather not spend wasting on researching the internet for the right answers.

You need what every successful wellness warrior has:

  • a sisterhood of support and community
  • simple tips you can implement right away, and help weed through all the overwhelming information
  • ongoing inspiration to keep you motivated and excited about your wellness and lifestyle (boredom is such a buzzkill…)
  • a Holistic Coach for reliable info, inspiring updates, and no-B.S. accountability
  • and some badass science to help you trust in your decisions

It’s these things that will help you take the steps necessary to catapult your health and wellness to the next level, and to introduce you to new and exciting topics to keep you motivated and stimulated to continue on with your wellness path!

That’s where the Urban Wellness Club comes in.

…But hey, you’re going to have to hang in there a bit…

Stay tuned while we update the program for 2019 – it’s gonna be fan-freakin’-tastic!

How to Forgive Mean People and Finally Let Go

Fotolia_8501308_Subscription_L-200x109“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be. ~ May Sarton

I still think about how when I was a kid and came home 10 minutes late, only to find my hamster in the jaws of my cat, knowing that had I been on time, I could have prevented her death by the Mean Feline. Flashes of being cheated on by an unworthy mate still stab my heart from time to time (bastard!). Memories of broken promises by my parents and other loved ones in my life still challenge my ability to trust and be vulnerable. But I’ve come a long way in terms of how much time these thoughts occupy my mind.

We’ve all been in that dark place, that state where we’re completely stuck in the ruminating and perseverating and full-on obsessing about the negative shizzle that’s happened to us. We do this to ourselves with things that happened today, yesterday, and even YEARS ago.

It ain’t pretty.

Did you know the average person has at least 70,000 thoughts per day? When you are in this stuck place, your thoughts add up to even more than that – and worse, it’s the same thoughts over and over. That’s a whole lot of creative brain juice potential going into something that’s already happened.

That’s when I call in the lesson for the season of Autumn: letting go. We see it all around us. The trees dump their leaves. The animals shed their summer layer and get ready for their winter coat. Plants turn inward and send all their reserves to their roots for the winter.

There is a purpose to this season, and it’s not just about getting ready for winter. Au contraire mon ami – you are actually getting ready for spring (surprise!), and all the great new shizzle that is about to come your way.

While I’ve written about decluttering your home, letting go of negative thoughts, and leaving toxic jobs and unhealthy relationships, the most profound and powerful letting go you can do is to forgive.

Forgiveness is an important part of emotional health, and thereby physical as well. Masten Kipp said:

“The joy that comes from realizing that suffering in our lives comes from the meaning we have given it is unlimited.”

I am not saying that painful things in your past didn’t happen and aren’t worthy of attention, but what I am saying is that they no longer have to be as painful or powerful. It’s not as easy as changing your mind once or twice. It takes work, and reps, like in the gym. Though if you try and try enough over time, new life and new meaning can emerge.

One of the best ways I know how to do this is to take ourselves out of our own story and step into the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of the person who hurt us (aka empathy). This isn’t so that we can make right what they did, but so we can begin to understand the painful event from their point of view. And hey, in case it isn’t obvious, this counts for forgiving yourself, too. It means you step into your shoes, compassionately, from the perspective of where you were at during that point in time, at that age, in that mindset, with the tools you had available to you.
As I have guided clients through this process, the outcomes have been amazing. Forgiveness shows up on a whole new level for themselves and others. Imagine the deep sense of serenity that overcame my client when she finally forgave the former love of her life for abandoning her. Or my other client who forgave her mother for her critical and verbally abusive parenting over the years, which allowed her to finally love and appreciate her before she died two years later. Or another client, who finally slept well after years of insomnia once she forgave her best friend that betrayed her.
Where do you start?
This is not about deep and prolonged psychotherapy, although there is a time and a place for that. Where I do start with my coaching clients is in asking a few key questions (you’ll find these also incorporate Byron Katie’s work):
  • Get honest about your current story regarding what happened – what do you tell yourself about what happened?
  • What part do you know is absolutely true? (careful here – not just what you want to believe is true!)
  • How do you act when you believe that story or thought?
  • Who would you be without that thought? (ahhhhh…space!!!!)
  • Empathize with the other – whether that is another person, or another You at a different time and place. What needs was the Other trying to have met?
  • Generate compassion for them/You – we are all trying to do the best we can with what we have available to us (knowledge, resources, role models, past experiences…)
Again, the point of forgiveness is not to excuse what happened, but to bring a new sense of empathy and compassion to all involved – and this includes you. Forgiveness is how we break the bond over the painful event.
Another important part of forgiveness is to learn from what happened and explore what our role was in making the situation possible. This is an advanced Jedi Power, so if you are not ready for it, don’t feel pressure to go here right away. If your default is to blame yourself, steer clear of this one unless under the guidance of a skilled coach or counselor. But for those of you who are ready, the next step is to ask: What was my part in this?
  • Did I have healthy boundaries?
  • Did I trust my intuition?
  • Did I ignore red flags?
  • Do I feel I don’t deserve better?
There are more questions to ask, but those are a good starting place. And remember: this isn’t about beating yourself up. It is about learning where you can strengthen your ziji, your radiant inner confidence.
Perhaps you aren’t ready for any of the above. You’re absolutely not ready to approach this from a loving place, and you still want sweet revenge (“Hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned,” right?). For you, my sweet Jedi in training, know that the best way to “get back” at people who have hurt you is to forgive them. Mean people can’t stand that shit.
When we step into the others’ shoes and consider how they must have been thinking and feeling, we begin to understand that their actions were not truly against us, but a request for Love or Significance, albeit in a very messed up way. That was the best way that they knew how to at that time. For realz.
From a soul perspective, we can claim ownership over the meaning we give that event, and no longer make it about how it hurt us, but about how they were hurt, and how our job is now to step into more Love and Compassion and Empathy, for them and for us.
This also gives us a clean slate for Spring, where NEW love, intimacy, friendships, vulnerability, relationships, and risk-taking can be had!
These words are no doubt easy to say, and much harder to do. It’s not as easy as reading a sweet affirmation like, “I am a forgiveness warrior!” and being done with it. However, do know that it is theoretically possible to forgive someone simply by deciding to do so once and for all. Just. Like. That. SNAP!
My hope is that this post can be a beginning point for you to start the journey of forgiveness, empathy and compassion so that one day soon you will be set free of the chains that bind you from the past. TRUE FREEDOM.
It’s that simple. AND that profound.
There is unbelievable healing – and heath – in forgiveness. Forgiving someone can take years of burden off your shoulders, not to mention your soul.  It restores relationships, enables new beginnings and allows us to move on to better things. It is soooooo worth it.
How can you start practicing forgiveness right now? I’d love to hear you share with me in the comments below!

Big Risks and the Courage to be Authentic

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We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be. ~ May Sarton

What could be riskier than diving out of an airplane or climbing a glacier-covered peak or accelerating a race car into a curve at the Indy 500?

A lot, actually.

For one person it might be quitting a secure, well-paying job to go back to school or start their own biz. For another, it could be deciding to leave a marriage after 18 years, or reporting that the company they work for is endangering the environment or people’s lives (BTW whistleblowers rock!).

Though it may not appear so at first glance, psychological risks that summon us to put our personal values and beliefs on the line may ultimately feel more dangerous than those of physical derring-do.

And this is why we avoid living authentically. This is why, despite its ability to make us utterly exhausted, we put on masks EVERY DAY and try to be someone we are not.

Ask me how I know…

OK I’ll tell ya: I know, because I was there. I hated social events because they drained me…I was expected to be a certain way, I had to be energetic and perky and funny and crazy even though that night I felt like being mellow and listening to an audio on positive psychology. I filled my calendar with TONS of events I wasn’t in the mood for because I was expected to be there, to do those things, even though all I wanted to do was chill at home.

What I realized was that it wasn’t social events that bothered me: it was who I thought I was supposed to be when I showed up, and when I wasn’t feeling that way, “having” to act the part was too much to handle.

The thing is, no one expected these things of me except myself! It took me years to discover this, but once I did, I had much more fun – and much more energy 😉

Ironically, while the risks we take to be authentic are often the most scary things to do, these are also the challenges that we are asked to face time and time again if we are to continue to grow as individuals. Every time we take a risk that contributes to our personal growth, enhances our self-esteem, or enriches our lives, we make the choice to stretch ourselves, knowing there are no guarantees and risking possible failure.

Growth-producing risks generally fall into three categories:

Self-Improvement Risks
These are the risks you take when you want to learn something new or make a distant dream a reality, for example. You take on the venture with hopes of enriching your life. Maybe you want to change careers, or take singing lessons, or learn to speak Italian. On one side of the risk is the person you are and, on the other, the person you want to become.

Commitment Risks
All commitment risks have emotional stakes, whether you pledge yourself to a person, a relationship, a cause, a career, or a value. According to Joseph Ilardo, author of Risk-Taking for Personal Growth, if you avoid making emotional commitments, you all but guarantee that your emotional growth will be stunted.

Self-Disclosure Risks
Communication risks fall into the category of self-disclosure. Anytime you tell someone how you really feel, you’re taking the chance of self-disclosure and, to put it bluntly, someone not liking you. When you open up to others and reveal who you really are, how you feel and what you want and need, you make yourself vulnerable. It is impossible to be assertive without doing so.

Here’s what make such risks so scary: All risks carry with them the possibility of failure. Often significant sacrifices must be made before any real benefits are realized. Routines may have to change; the familiar may have to be released. And yeah, you may be rejected or humiliated. In the case of commitment to a value, personal safety may be in danger (consider those who stand up for what they believe in or put their own health and well-being on the line in the name of a cause).

However, despite the potential consequences of these risks, here’s what makes them so worthwhile: challenging yourself is often the key to personal growth and development.

Are you a risk-taking soul warrior? Ask yourself the following questions:

• Does every decision involve endless debates with yourself?

• Do you accept less than what you should because you’re afraid to speak up?

• Do you have difficulty making emotional commitments to others?

• Do you make up excuses that stop you from taking advantage of opportunities for self-improvement?

• Does fear of disapproval keep you from doing what you’d really like to do?

A “yes” answer to these questions indicates a reluctance to take risks, which may mean you tend to play it safe and reject change. And that’s OK! There’s nothing wrong with that per se, because it is quite normal to avoid risks. However, the deeper risk you take by avoiding them is that of not living a fulfilling and authentic life; a life of freedom, adventure, and purpose.

And to be frank, that would really suck.

Consider this: to fulfill your potential, to discover your real self and live an authentic life, you must take risks. And while security may appear to be the absence of change, the only genuine security lies in taking risks.

Did you hear that? I’ll say it again: the only genuine security lies in taking risks.

Be patient with yourself, and don’t be afraid of simply starting with smaller steps.

What can you do today to live more authentically? What’s one small action you can take, or a perspective to shift, that feels a little risky, but totally do-able? Start there. Share with us below – I read all responses and want to hear how your stretching your comfort zone. It makes me happy, AND you’ll inspire others!

Also, be sure to stay an active part of our tribe and cultivate a community around you who don’t just support, but celebrate people living authentically. If you’d like more on Authenticity, listen to my free Jedi Juice call on this topic by clicking here.