I’m writing this post on Mother’s Day, and I know that not all of us have had deep and fulfilling relationships with our mothers. If your relationship with your mother is intimate and warm, I hope you celebrate this day with her in your heart or in person! Consider yourself blessed. And if you are a mama, I celebrate you for choosing that courageous path and growing little humans that will eventually be caretakers of our planet (no pressure;)!
However, our mother is the one person in our life capable of creating one of the deepest wounds possible – known as “the mother wound.” This email is for those of you with a tender mother wound.
When we share such deep bonds with someone, growing inside their body and relying on them so deeply, and then hopefully being nourished by them physically and emotionally once we are born (or not, if they had to give us up, or weren’t capable of doing so)..when they hurt us, it cuts deeper than any other pain.
We can spend our whole lives suffering this wound. Or not.
Instead, we can choose to know this wound is shared in our humanity. Like many wounds and types of suffering, it is only possible because of the depth of love that is possible. It is precisely because we can love so deeply that we can suffer so deeply. It’s part of the deal of being human. All mothers are bound to let us down at some point. It is up to us to know they are human.
Instead of focusing on what was missing, we can choose to focus on the love that was there…that our mothers kept us alive and nourished us – however imperfectly – despite their own suffering and pain.
We can choose to create the love we want in our lives – by nourishing friendships and relationships, and even with healing our mother wound when we are ready.
Know that your happiness does not depend on your mother, or anyone else. You can choose to create happiness in your life now. You can choose to think new thoughts about your life – to write a new story about your wound.
You can start to see the ways in which your wound has shaped and forged you in alchemical ways to be someone with your unique gifts. Indeed, some theories suggest the mother wound happens to us in exactly the way we needed it to to shape us spiritually in this life – when we are courageous enough to let it.
Let it. Let your past be the thing that helps you grow into the phenomenal person you are destined to be. Shape your mind and soul to look to the present and future with a bright heart