Stop Feeling Regret For The Mistakes You Made – a Freedom Junkie Guide

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Sometimes my brain freakin’ amazes me – in an annoying kind of way. Like, how can I go from writing my ecstatic post about all the epic shizzle I manifested in the last year, all the way to feeling guilty that I didn’t manifest a badass life sooner!?

I finally learned how to take off those “shit-colored glasses” (as my friend and client, Rivkah Wood, likes to say) and I think, “Oh wow! Look at this creative and wonderful life! The possibilities are endless! I can’t wait to everyone else to figure this out! Oh, and before I get too happy, let’s not forget all the ways I totally fucked up.”

Smack down!

Sometime in the last 48 hours, I began running through the many times I had hurt others in my life. It started with a seemingly remote situation when I was a kid and came home late because I was out with friends, only to find my cat killing my favorite pet hamster (I could have stopped it if I was home! And now I can only see her looking into my eyes as her last breath left her…). I know that sounds stupid to some, but I feel terribly guilty about that.

Then there was the time I was 16 and yelled at my dad even though he was having an acute schizophrenic episode (talk about proving his delusions!); the time my mom came all the way to visit me in the middle of winter and I treated her curtly and was, well, kind of mean because I was chronically sleep-deprived…and she cried; When I was a teen and I didn’t look my grandmother in the eyes and tell her how much I loved her before she died because, well, I didn’t know she was going to die that day, but I was also so freaked out about seeing her so sick and frail, and my boyfriend was waiting outside, and I thought I could come back later…

I remembered the time I “wasted” while figuring all this relationship stuff out, like when in my 20s and 30s and I was so unclear about what I wanted that I made really bad relationship decisions and totally broke hearts – things that I seemingly could have avoided if I had known better.

I feel guilty that I didn’t figure out detoxing and superfoods, the evils of big agriculture and the beauty of organics sooner – thinking about how maybe I could have prevented my cancers altogether, or felt more vibrant during more of my life, or cooked my family healthier meals…

Why didn’t I keep up my yoga practice longer when I discovered it at 18 years old? Why didn’t I keep up my meditation practice earlier, even when I knew how much my time in Nepal and India had radically changed my worldviews and how I related with others (as early as 19 years old!)?

Ahhhhh! Stop it already!

The reality is, it wasn’t DESPITE these screw ups that I learned to live full-on. It was BECAUSE OF them. Had I not made these mistakes, I think I may not have moved with such earnest towards personal and spiritual growth.

In Buddhism there are 7 realms (BTW they have a Hell realm too). One of the realms is the God realm. Everything is awesome. Everyone is beautiful, there are flowers and shit everywhere (the cool kind of “shit”), food is scrumptuous, people are in perfect health and live a LONG time (like, a bazillion years), and they have the luxury of time to play music, do yoga, have sex, do whatever you want!

“Kind of like California,” one Tibetan Lama said to me.

There is no pain and suffering…until dying begins. Then, after millenia go by in bliss, things are all perfect and they’re sniffing their flowers and being like, “Oh, this smells sooooo good!” and then all of a sudden, the flower starts to smell off…the flower wilts. Its color fades. The leaves droop. Now it smells like moldy socks. Things around them start to decay (all things are impermanent, after all). Their bodies get old. They feel aches and pains…and this shizzle goes on for a hella long time because time is soooooooo drawn out for them. It really, really sucks because they are slowly, slowly dying – and dying is their first experience of suffering. It overwhelms them.

We all die, and for the people in the God realm, dying for them is even more excruciating – mentally and physically. This is because they have never experienced suffering before, and therefore it is that much more … devastating. It brings people in the God realms to their knees, and beyond.

The human realm is considered ideal because we have the ability to use our suffering for growth, and to be acutely aware of the different aspects of reality, to use our senses and our mental faculties to transcend our limited perspectives and experiences. There are other reasons, but I won’t go into an “Intro To Realms” course here.

Bottom line is: Sometimes I made some big mistakes that could have been prevented. I. Know. That.

They happened..we all have them. We also have to have compassion for ourselves. We are all doing the best we can in any given moment.

I have been graced with the experience of taking off the shit-colored glasses and seeing the beauty and possibility and absolutely creative miracle of this world with clearer vision.

The world looks much, much better without them on. And yes, as a result, I can now also clearly see where things could have been done differently before. AND..

I am not going to let myself feel regrets for those mistakes.

If I didn’t learn from them, if I didn’t grow, THEN they would be mistakes worth regretting. But now that I have been through the fire and risen from the ashes  – again and again – I call them human mistakes.

I am sorry for anyone I hurt, any pain or suffering of another being that I could have helped to prevent. And I promise to never, ever do it again.

“Trying” not to do it again is bullshit, by the way. As Yoda says, “Do, or do not. There is no ‘try.'”

AND I will strive to improve the JOY, LOVE, and FREEDOM of all I come into contact with. That is the true Freedom Junkie way.

Deal? Can I stop feeling fucking guilty now? Alright already!

Now take off those shit-colored glasses and be happy. Really happy. You earned it, Badass!

Note: Ana Verzone is a Thrive Maximizer + Boredom Slayer + Mindset Alchemist. With her tribe of Freedom Junkies™ she helps passionate women awaken their lives of freedom, adventure and purpose with confidence, clarity, and focused action – from their cells to their spirit. Her monthly Ziji Up! eZine goes out to thousands of subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs, schedule a free Strategy Session, and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting www,AnaVerzone.com

Do You Feel a Call to Adventure?

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“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are built for.” ~ William Shedd

One of the classic stages of the Hero’s Journey is the Call to Adventure, where a person stops living an average life, the separation from society and life as you know it begins, and shit starts to get interesting. And check this out: it’s not just meant for Luke Skywalker. This journey is meant for you as well.

You are not here on this planet to be bored, to sit in front of a TV watching other people living epic lives. You are not meant to be wasting moments of your precious life slaving away for someone else’s dreams. You are not meant to spend all your time indoors safe and cozy and totally comfortable in an insulated lil’ life. Au contraire, mon amie.

Sorry to break it to ya, but you are a ship built for adventure, and if you’re in harbor, you’re going to hear this calling pretty damn soon – if you haven’t already.

What does this “call” sound like? Well, according to Joseph Campbell, it’s like a phone ringing. Isn’t that convenient?

heros_journey4_8462Unfortunately, it’s not always what I’ve noticed. Sometimes this call is a bit – ahem – less pleasant than a ringtone. Sometimes, this call to adventure manifests as full-blown panic attacks, night sweats, low-level anxiety that has you feeling things are not as they should be…a restlessness that can’t be verbalized that has you feeling you are not living your life to the fullest…but you don’t know what else you’re supposed to do.

That’s what I’ve seen it feel like – in myself, in my clients, and even in movies! There’s this flick I totally stumbled upon called Wanted, with Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy, and this guy has panic attacks and medicates himself to keep them under control…but you end up learning that it stems from the fact that he isn’t living his purpose, which is as a gifted badass spiritual assassin of sorts. He had all these superpowers pent up inside, and they were telling him to let them the hell out – in the form of anxiety.

You can see this stage in every epic story, like the Star Wars series (in particular, Empire Strikes Back – my favorite!), the Matrix, Lord of the Rings…but what we forget is that ALL of us – yes, all of us mere mortals – are called to undertake the Hero’s Journey.

Have you been hearing this call but ignoring it? Or have you heard it and taken action? The Separation that occurs with the Call to Adventure can be kind of nerve-racking, to say the least. But the coolest part is knowing that it feels that way because things are about to change – for the better. You leaving harbor is always, always better – because THAT is what you are built for.

I’d love for you to share your thoughts about the Call to Adventure, Separation, and what YOUR ship is going to do once it leaves harbor below. I read all of it, so know I’ll respond to you!

End Overwhelm. Slow is Sexy!

meditationgrass-200x133“Stop the glorification of busy” ~ Anonymous viral internet quote (ironically)

Let’s get this straight – you can kick ass, rock your life, have big adventures, AND know how to take it slow, savoring every moment.

In fact, if you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re going to need to learn, or else you’ll burn out before you ever get to truly enjoy the fruits of your blood sweat and tears.

Trust me – I’ve been on the fast train a whole lot, whether it was jetting around to 22 countries a year or practically living in the hospital delivering babies because I thought it was the coolest thing ever (it IS pretty cool;). I love to stay up late and create, and I love to dance and sweat under the full moon until the sun rises.

But I can’t keep it up forever. Especially now that I’m 40, and life demands more from me than in previous life stages – in a good way!

If you’re only in your 20s, don’t waive this off as something to think about “later.” Trust me: you need to get this now too. And better sooner than later, because that way you’ll be able to rock it more fully for longer!

Let’s take a look at the woman many people admire these days: She gets up at 5am and runs 6 miles before work, power-houses it at the Corporation whilst slugging down her green juice, squeezing in a lunchtime yoga session and munching down a salad, then comes home after an hour in traffic, makes dinner, pounds out a presentation for the deadline, and hits the sack at 11pm, thoughts spinning about the next day and feeling happy, healthy, and strong, albeit exhausted.

Or if that isn’t your style, maybe you admire the woman who is on the vagabond road, perpetually traveling and adventuring and making the most of every moment, never sleeping in the same place for more than one night, not having an address or even cookware because she doesn’t have a kitchen. Or a home. Or a consistent community. But man, she is doing cool shit. And drinking whisky while she’s at it. Her motto? Sleep when you die. And she is obsessed with never, ever missing out. On anything. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) to the wazoo0ith degree. Yes, I made that word up.

Oh wait – that was me for few decades…

In any event, I bet these scenarios seem pretty sexy to a lot of you. This kind of sexiness sells. You’ve seen the corporate version of these “high-energy” women in TV shows like Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, Bones, and The Good Wife. Angelina Jolie is a role model for many young women, and manages to look hot, save the world, fly a plane, and have too many kids for me to remember. And spend a ton of time in Africa and other exotic continents between sex scenes.

Go go go and WIN! It’s what our society admires – having it all. At full speed ahead. And there’s nothing wrong with that, per se

The problem is, this isn’t sustainable. And that’s OK too – it doesn’t need to be sustainable. For the most part, if you take care of yourself, you are able to handle bursts of manic creativity and adventure. But the operative phrases are “if you take care of yourself” and “bursts” (not years of it).

I know women like the ones described above, and obviously I’ve lived like that too. And guess what? It catches up. You get a bunch of colds. You feel “foggy-headed,” or groggy. You have less energy and are constantly tired. You feel like you’re always “fighting off something.”

Or maybe you really let it get out of control and you get an auto-immune disease. You become bitchy. You gain weight, become an emotional eater. Or you lose too much weight. Feel chronic pain. Your hormones get out of whack. You act impatient. You have digestive problems and feel bloated and fart a lot. You have trouble sleeping. Your skin breaks out. And if you wait until menopause to get this figured out, this “transition” will particularly kick your ass.

Or in my case, maybe you get cancer. Twice, because you didn’t figure it out the first time.

For those of you who have been following me for awhile, you may remember the posts in my FullOn365 blog. There, after a second cancer snafoozle, I aspired to live every day Full On for an entire year. You’d think it was an exhausting year full of adventure after adventure. But an important lesson was that it became more about being fully present, fully IN whatever it was that I was doing, that made things feel FULL ON. It was less about what I was doing and more about how I was being – capiche?

Can you really have it all? Well, it depends what you mean. I believe you can have it all – just maybe not all at the same time.

So how can you have it all and balance it so you don’t burn out?

Here are 6 Tips for Ending Overwhelm:

1) Balance out having it all by prioritizing what is most important to you.

We need to be clear about what we want and what’s important to us: get clear about what’s important. If you haven’t yet, download my free Ultimate Getting Clear Guide from my website – the form to receive it is in the sidebar. It’s a great place to start! Also, check out this article I wrote on how to prioritize.

If we want to travel the world and save up for a house, which is the most pressing desire right now? Choose that. You can have the other as well, just maybe in a bit. And in the meantime, you can create a situation where you can try to make money WHILE traveling the world and have your cake and eat it too. But if you travel and spend, the fact that you aren’t saving for your house will wear at you in the back of your mind and eventually lead to overwhelm, exhaustion, and low self-esteem.

2) Address your highest priorities FIRST in your day.

If you know that to stay healthy and sane you need to sleep 8 hours, meditate for at least 10 minutes, and get in 20 minutes of yoga at a minimum, you better be dammed sure you schedule everything ELSE around those three things. As the article here describes, its nice to have 3-5 very clear things that you make as your priorities each day. They don’t have to just be self-care things either. They can be a passion project or a hobby.

Hint: at least a few of those things should be self-care though;)

3) Use your best energy time-of-day for yourself.

That means that if your best energy is in the morning, you do your self-care practices in the morning. If you are at your best in the evening, you make sure to do something lovely for yourself then too. Your work and caring for other people also flow well when you are in your energetic “zone,” but you need to prioritize yourself as well during this time. YOU deserve your best first. This will pay off in the end, so you don’t half-ass meeting your soul’s needs – or the needs of those you care about.

4) Make yourself go to bed early. You need it to replenish your energy – even if it feels like you don’t.

By that I mean early enough to feel refreshed the next day – whatever that is for you. If you don’t wake up feeling alert and awake, you’re not resting enough (or you need to detox, but that’s another topic we’ll address as we get closer to our next cleanse). Unless you are one of those Tibetan monks who can enter Stage IV deep sleep while meditating and remaining alert of your surroundings, you do need to sleep, gorgeous. Seven to eight hours a night. Sorry;)

5) Take naps if you need to so that don’t need stimulants later in day.

Sleeping enough will also help with this. You can get in a 20-min power nap at lunch for in that afternoon slump between 2-5pm if you have to.

Being tired in our culture is funny. If we’re hungry we’ll eat, if we’re thirsty we’ll drink, but if we’re tired we wonder, “What’s wrong?” Nothing’s wrong! You simply need to rest. “I can’t nap!” you may think. Well, if you’re tired. Simply lie down because that alone helps your body rejuvenate.

6) Avoid decision overload. Create routines!

This can, and will be, a blogpost in and of itself. We make so many decisions – like 30 decisions in only 5-10 seconds of being on Internet. Where do I click, where do I scan the page, which article do I pay attention to, how do I close that popup? Just look at the decisions we make around food and how often we think about and plan for meals and snacks – let alone making decisions around what the people who will be eating with us will need!

Having routines decreases the number of decisions we have to make. Simplify your menus, have a regular bedtime, create a morning routine that is non-negotiable (for the most part;)

People who make good decisions formulate life so they have to make fewer of them. They set up routines and clear boundaries and have clarity about what they want – and don’t want.

Hint: Make decisions after breakfast and lunch because decisions use so much energy and glucose that we actually make better decisions after having eaten.

OK, peeps! That’s 6 tips for now. Let me know below what works for you to help end overwhelm. The more tools we can have – and share – the better!

 

Want more? Sign up for my free Jedi Juice call this month: Slow is Sexy – End Your Overwhelm and the Glorification of Busy

It’s Hard to Say Goodbye – Identity Shifts and Ego

“Does this mean I am boring? I am ‘normal’ – ugggh. I don’t feel very interesting. I don’t feel inspiring…”

These are the things my crazy gremlin voice was saying to me as I was packing my belongings.

the sailboat in Spenard arriving on my birthday
the sailboat in Spenard arriving on my birthday

You see, I’ve been living in a yurt in Alaska, and it has been AWESOME! It is where the love of my life and I reconnected after 11 years. It is where he proposed to me. He did this as we watched the BEST Northern Lights show ever (the real-deal aurora borealis – not the TV show) on the beautiful sailboat that we dry-docked to bring it back to its former glory…our beloved “Sailboat in Spenard” moment. One of many.

We’ve had amazing dance parties there with wigs and knee-high boots and late-night quesadilla feasts feeding 15 people off a double-burner Coleman stove. It’s been where my man built my Chick Shack. It’s where I put up my 78 year-old mom in our Red Shed, where she elegantly weathered a cool Autumn visit exclaiming, “It’s like living in the village in the Philippines!” (but clearly colder).

It’s where we loved all our neighbors, who helped us live there in our quirky way by letting us plug into their electric supply as needed, or do water runs into their houses.

It’s where friends would stop by at any hour to visit us, bringing food or wine or home-brewed beer, or just a good story or a deep hug. It’s where people felt they could be themselves – their authentic selves.  It had a way of bringing that out in people.

It’s where we planned trips to Africa and dreamed about Mongolia. It’s where we started planning our wedding, and summer trips onto glaciers and rivers.

It’s where I did countless transformational client calls and interviews and developed my cherished Freedom Sessions Mastermind program – a product of years of work and dreams for which my yurt provided the requisite creative vibe.  It’s where my business reached a level for which I am forever humbled by the blessings brought to you when you do work from your heart and soul.

New Year's Eve 2011
New Year’s Eve 2011

Most of all, the yurt has been where I felt – and feel – human. Truly human. Connected to the elements. Living simply. More raw. There is a very real aspect to how feeling hot or cold – something many of us manage to avoid for any length of time in our society – can help you ground and be present and connect with your body and nature. This is not to say life was always simple in the yurt, but that we lived simply as best as we could, which is a gift in this hectic world.

Yet, the reality is, doing the big things I wanted to do in life, in the way I wanted to do it, was inevitably going to lead us to have to leave the yurt as it is. Someday.

You see, I want to make the world a better place by helping people free their minds so they can free their life – on a larger scale than I previously thought possible. Fulfilled people make the world a healthier and happier place for everyone! Because of this, and because I know how precious this life is, I want to spend every moment doing the things that truly bring me joy, and  contributing to making the world a better place by helping others do the same. Doing this on a larger scale was getting really hard to do from the yurt.

I would actually LOVE chopping wood and fetching water and having to defrost the yurt every time I came back after a grocery run IF I also didn’t have work I loved, which I’d rather be doing. As my friend Gordy – a long-time Alaskan – said, “No one who works full-time heats their house with wood.” Nor do they have abundant time to fetch water or take 30 minutes just to heat water then wash the dishes from breakfast.

wigpartyOn the other hand, my partner, Thai – well, he LOVES doing this stuff and doesn’t really like work. So his goal is to work as little as possible and spend time doing things that connect him to the elements, like chopping wood and living simply and going on epic adventure trips. That’s HIS genius work – to inspire others to connect with the outdoors, with adventure, with simplicity. Kind of like what I do, actually. But he does it by simply living it fully – and modeling for others.

He has NO desire to write about it, offer interviews, or create programs to teach others to do the same. And he is really, really good at modeling it and living fully so that others are totally, completely, and utterly inspired to do the same. Ask anyone who’s met him. They’re like, “Who the fuck ARE you and how do you get to do all this epic shit? Wow.”

I love adventure trips too! Duh. I go on most of the trips Thai goes on because my work provides me with a VERY flexible schedule. But I can do without the other house-maintenance stuff because I DO have a deep desire to share this with others on a larger scale, and that means I have to make choices that aren’t always inclusive of everything I’d like or prefer.

To be honest, if I didn’t love my work, I’d be right there with him. I’d work as little as possible and live off the land. I LOVE that feeling of your body working hard, and not having to juggle a bizillion things in your head like blogposts and Wifi access and learning Photoshop. I love living simply. I love getting dirt all over me and planting seeds and watching them grow and picking them succulent and fresh from the earth and eating them. I even think that is sexy.

hangingoutyurtI love getting the most fabulously clean water from a mountain stream and feeling it fill every cell in my body with pure life force. I love building things from hand, and knitting by the fire.

But now, there is something I think I love more: hearing a client say, “I  have never felt this happy or free in my entire life.”

Once that happened, I was screwed.

That is some straight-to-the-heart arrow-firing of life-changing power, filled with epic-like proportions of badass precious life realizations (and lots of hyphens) type of shizzle. It gives me a high I cannot explain. It brings tears to my eyes to know someone is making the most of this precious life.

It is the Whole. Fucking. Point.

breakfastatyurtOf everything.

For me, at least.

I always teach my clients to do their genius work and to delegate others tasks whenever they can. By walking the talk, this means that I was delegating a lot of maintenance activities to Thai. He claims he didn’t mind, but it did feel odd to not be a equal participant in the daily tasks. I was used to enjoying contributing to the household. And when not working – like in Africa, where volunteering in refugee camps was actually relatively simple – I didn’t mind doing things like that. I had nothing else to do!

Yet I KNEW that to create in the way I wanted, I needed the precious commodity of time. Especially if I wanted to be able to NOT work 5 months out of the year, which is my current pattern.

I would totally fetch water and chop wood every day joyfully if it meant I had to in order to survive. I’ve lived out of my car and out of my backpack in the mountains for what amounts to years of such simple living. But when now it meant I would do it in lieu of creating programs that had the potential to change people’s lives, those things become a little less fulfilling.

makingfireThings have shifted.

It’s the curse of having a job I love. I have less patience for things that waste my time and that don’t contribute to my bigger mission – helping people to free their minds so they can free their lives. Traffic for me isn’t just inconvenient – it keeps me from researching that amazing new theory on creating happiness so that I can share it with my clients, for example. For me, having warm running water is nice, but ultimately it allows me to efficiently complete a task from which I – unlike the proverbial Zen monk dishwasher – wasn’t going to attain enlightenment anytime soon.

Things like daily tasks being efficient allows me more time to do things I love.

Some people want things like running water and a relatively warm place because they don’t like being uncomfortable and feel that life should be easy, and that suffering is evil. Period. Maybe they want more time to watch TV or to sit on their ass instead of refilling water jugs or taking an hour to get the place warm enough before you can take off your gloves to type something.

But some of us want those things because we already intentionally get ourselves uncomfortable and stretch ourselves by doing things like climbing mountains and winter camping; and when we come home, instead of dealing with the basics, we want more time to enhance our body, mind, and spirit and help contribute our part to change the fucking world.

hapypboysThat’s what I’m talking about.

My work – while allowing me to have a location-independent lifestyle – also requires that I have access to internet a lot. Since we were off the grid, we couldn’t sign up for internet service. Our yurt was – er – not supposed to be where it was (one of my values: getting away with things! hee hee ;). I tethered my cell phone to my computer so I could do simple things online. But this meant that while life at the yurt was simple, if I had to really work online and download huge files or live-stream anything, I had to leave the yurt to find high-speed internet – which kind of defeated the purpose of being able to work from home.

To be honest, if I had high-speed internet, then life at the yurt could have gone on for longer. I would have had at least 2 hours extra  a day that I didn’t spend trying to find internet and filling water bottles and driving somewhere to grab a shower.

But then there’s also this: when Thai asked me if I’d live out of a yurt with him in Alaska, I said, “Totally – except when we have kids, I want running water and a washer and dryer.”

the night of our engagement
the night of our engagement

Installing these things is not possible when off the grid in a major city, and because we wanted to keep it off the grid, we decided that at some point, we’d move into a house. And we weren’t sure when that would be. But we have just started trying to get pregnant, and have been trying to imagine doing the things we do with kids in the yurt, without being able to have heat or running water or a washer and dryer – and work on top of that. Shizzle!

We were not homesteaders, however much the romance of that is something we both admire and long for. The reality is, we have jobs that keep us fairly busy. And in my case, too busy and too fulfilling to want to trade time doing that for time doing things that we had the privilege to have easy access to – like utilities.

While we always knew that this day would eventually arrive, it is bittersweet that it has. By it arriving, we acknowledge it is because amazing things are happening. My business is growing, we are starting a family, we are moving on to another chapter of this amazing life.

But you see, I had a lot of my identity intertwined with living in a yurt. This is obvious in the paragraphs of rationalizations above. Still, my identity was intertwined with Alaskan winters and waking up with my eyelashes frozen shut. With hanging out with our friends in the circular sacred space of our haven. With climbing to the top of the sailboat in the yard to watch the sunset.

the frame
the frame

It was easy to feel full-on living in the yurt. It was easy to drop into the essentials of life. And admittedly, it was nice to do interviews and have people say, “Wow! You ARE living full on. You are in a yurt in Alaska, you travel the world…” I heard the “yurt” part as something that defined who I was, how I lived my life.

But the reality is, the yurt is a beautiful, yet relatively small part, of what I do and who I am. I will continue to travel and have a family life full of adventure in the outdoors and immersed in the spiritual and mystical beauty of this life. Even though I am not in a yurt (saying this as morning affirmation…).

It’s like when I went from being an international climbing guide to a nurse. I felt like all of a sudden I was “normal,” and I got depressed. Then I realized, there is nothing “normal” about being a nurse – at all. Being a nurse is badass, and it brought me so many new adventures as a nurse practitioner and nurse midwife. And now here I am thinking that by living in a house, I’ll be “normal” again. And I have always feared being normal.

But what I’ve learned through all these stages of life and shifts in identity is that being a human living full-on is badass. And as long as I keep doing that, I don’t really care what it looks like on the outside or what shelter I take on or how many utilities I have under my name;) It’s about how I feel on the inside.

I want to have it all.  I want to feel all the feelings I long for. Indeed I already do. And I plan to keep it that way.

Sometimes you have to make choices: to do what you love, in lieu of what you like. To love who you truly love, instead of pretending to love who you like. To get real without yourself about what you need, instead of choosing simply what you want.

I would have wanted to be able to live simply AND do the work I wanted to do. But the reality is, I needed a different setup, and had to make a choice to let go of what I wanted in order to receive what I needed – more alignment with my desire to help others on a larger scale with more effortlessness and ease.

It helps that our house is 2 blocks from the Coastal Trail, with views of Denali and other amazing mountains of Southcentral Alaska. The yurt was ironically not near any trails, so this house will allow me easier access to play more outside and watch more sunsets on the water. I know I’ll have a different connection to nature and the elements from this new abode. And, ultimately, I am actually really looking forward to creating a home in this new place. And hanging out in the great room with our friends – it’s really open like the yurt, probably also as big, and has corners. I can deal with the corners. Eventually;)

The yurt will stay where it is for now, and be a base for planning expeditions and for in-town gatherings with friends. We are even considering turning the lot into a community garden, an idea of which I am supremely psyched about. We may even offer it up as a base for the dirtbag climbers that come through town and want a unique place to crash. So the yurt will live on, in its own way.

It is strange to think about packing up bags, and hanging out in a square building with rooms that separate us from each other. About not desperately cuddling to stay warm and giggling about it under the sheets. About not looking around and remembering when we slept in a similar shelter on the geographic Tibetan Plateau.

But the most important thing is that I – WE – YOU – stay committed to living full-on, no matter where life takes us or what things appear like on the outside.

I can do that. You can do that. Only YOU know what living full on looks like for you.

How’s it going? Let me know below.

Days 275 to 303 Why “This Is LIFE!” Should Be Your New Mantra – News from Southern Africa

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“I think all these little brown dots on the ground are…some kind of poo,” I suggest. Well, according to Thai’s imitation, I actually sounded like a grandma inspecting her kitchen for dirt with a white glove. “YOU have a look then!” I say to him. He gets down on his knees with my headlamp and after a few minutes of inspection, he uses a common medical phrase, “I’m afraid I can’t rule it out.”

Meaning he also thought the ground might actually be covered with poo (and I mean carpeted, not “dotted with”). More correctly, it meant that he couldn’t say what it was – or wasn’t.

I paused and took an “inner inventory of options,” if you will. The whole area in this section of the Kalahari desert we were camping in was truly covered with this stuff. Thousands of little bushes surrounded us that could hide little “poo machines” like desert shrew and what not.

I realized I had to be OK with camping in a carpeted world of little African rodent crap. And FYI: rodents are some of the main vectors for the more serious tropical diseases we were treating in the refugee camps.

I proceeded to set up the tent over the carpet of whatever-it-was.

This is Africa, baby. Deal with it.

Then I’m driving through Botswana and a little grouse walks in front of us on the highway. I toot the least-threatening-horn-ever of our trusted VW “Springbok,” and she takes flight. I sigh, relieved…Only to watch her get slammed by a speeding truck coming in the other direction. Feathers everywhere. Tears well up in my eyes. I reach for Thai’s hand for reassurance that it was a swift death, and I suck it up. Well, I let the tears well up a little longer, then I suck it up.

This is Africa, baby. T.I.A. Deal with it. At least it wasn’t a donkey or a cow.

I get a fast and furious GI illness that takes me out for a few hours. I’m puking my insides out. People are frolicking by the pool. Dancing at the bar. Thai tries to get a room for me but reception is closed. We’re camping. Far away from the porcelain basins. Thai brings my sleeping pad next to the bathroom doors and I sleep there for awhile. Happy drunk girls wander around me without thinking twice. Happy drunk boys walk past with stupid thoughts and continue on. I am thrilled to be so close to my new porcelain friends. The bar manager asks if we’d like to move our tent next to the bathrooms. Why, Yes! THANK YOU! We do.

TIA.

Alright. Let’s talk about this phrase I hear a lot here: “This is Africa” or “TIA.” When shit happens here, people usually do one of two things:

1) get pissed and be pissed in the heat with no subsequent change in the outcome or…

2) shrug it off, sigh, smile, and say – with a sense of brotherhood and sisterhood – “This is Africa!” Then let it go, and buy a beer. Likely, you will then wait (many of the frustrations involve waiting and waiting and waiting…).

Why is this letting go something that so many people are so willing to do here, but are so UNwilling to do back in their home countries? I mean, this is kind of huge, in my mind.

Do you realize HOW MUCH HAPPIER we’d be if we could say, for example, “This is life!” Or “Shit happens ha ha ha!!!” then let go, and get on with being and living?!! It would be amazing!

I realize that what I’m talking about is, on some level, deep spiritual work, and it takes time and energy. We need to become aware of our attachments and expectations, our sense of entitlement, our excuses based on our “wounds.”

Then we need to develop the space between the thoughts and emotions and actions to allow a different response (meditation and yoga are my fave ways of cultivating this).

Then we need to stop ruminating about what could have or should have been, stop replaying the suffering (trust me – the poor bird ran many reels of movie-time through my head after that event), stop daydreaming about what might have been, and get the fuck on with our lives!

We need to learn to OWN IT and ROCK IT. Focus on what we want. Not on what we don’t want.

So yes, it is, on some level, deep spiritual work.

But it is also something simple: a CHOICE. This I what happens in Africa. Many of us simply
choose to simply let go. Life is better – and more effortless – that way.

What is happening RIGHT NOW? That’s what you should be focused on. Nothing else. Not on your expectations or past dreams. CHOOSE to let things go, and focus on the things you CAN work with.

One of my favorite quotes is:

“If you CAN change something, why be unhappy? If you CAN’T change setting, why be unhappy?” ~ Shantideva, A Bodhisattva’s Guide to The Way of Life

Suffering in Africa is no less intense than in the “Western world” (and many would argue it is even moreso). Contrary to popular belief, people here are no less sensitive to suffering, either. I also don’t think they are necessarily more “spiritually evolved” when it comes to non-attachment.

So why, here in Africa, are locals and expatriots and travelers able to let go so much more readily? (Caveat: if you are not prone to this adaptation, you’d likely avoid Africa altogether anyway).

I believe the difference is a keen understanding of the above statement: Knowing the difference between what you can and cannot change. Here in Africa, it is much easier to make that distinction. And while it can be terribly frustrating, it can be quite a relief, actually.

I remember after many trips to Asia when I was working as a climbing guide, I walked into a supermarket in the US to buy toothpaste after returning home, and I was completely overwhelmed by the ENTIRE ISLE of choices: With baking soda or without? Tatar control? Fluoride? Mint or peppermint? Gel or paste? I mean, WTF, right?! In Nepal I’d ask for toothpaste and get handed a tube over the counter. That was IT. Take it or leave it. It’s the only toothpaste they had. I rather miss that sometimes. I have more important things to ponder. I’m sure you do too!

Things are similar in many parts of Africa. The bus will leave when it leaves, no matter what the schedule says.

Animals will get hit regularly on the the side of the road, because people have cattle that need to graze, and there is grass along the roadway, and one-lane highways.

You have to pay a guy a few cents to make sure your car doesn’t get broken into. While thuggish himself, he’s part of a street-wise system way larger than you or your desire to save a few cents or sense of self-righteousness about the way things should work.

You don’t know your car’s “engine number” for the border crossing? They don’t care that they didn’t ask at the other border when you came in. Find the engine number. Whatever that is.

You see, it’s easier to see what you can and can’t change here. We are all in it together.

In the US, I observe – and admittedly found myself a part of – a sense of entitlement, of how if we yell loud enough, or show the right small print, or tell a really good version of our personal tragic story, we’ll eventually get what we want (and in our minds, what we deserve).

It’s true that some of these things protect us and keep things running efficiently. I am grateful for those aspects of it.

However, we need to keep in mind that the unintended result of this is that we have, as a society, become less adept at letting go of the small stuff. We are less skilled at quickly putting things into perspective, and not trying to control the things we cannot change. And it IS a skill. (pssst: we teach these Jedi Skills at Freedom Junkie;)

Next time shit happens – and try to start with the small stuff, like when the food that gets brought to your table is not exactly what you ordered, or when your friend is 15 minutes late – try out T.I.L. “This Is Life!” It’s happening right now. It’s perfectly imperfect! Live it! Don’t screw it all up with ideas of how it should have been!

Things are much more fun this way;)

What are you choosing to let go of today? Or what have you already chosen to let go of already? (And by the way, Bravo, Badass!). Do share below…I want to know!

PS: the little dots were not poo. In the light of day, we could see they were seeds from the surrounding trees:) Poo Trees, I’ve decided to call them

PPS: for those wanting in on the other full-on adventures since my last post, they include:

* Hiking through the deep red sand dunes of Soussvlei in Namibia

* Being awe-struck by the stark vastness of Namibia’s Skeleton Coast

* Spotting lions, rhinos, elephants, giraffe, and more at Etosha National Park

* Visiting the majestic Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe

* Chobe National Park morning game drive and sunset river boat cruise to see hippos, crocodiles, and more lions rarrrrrrr! (Botswana)

* A tree fell on Springbok in a big Botswanan storm and she survived unscathed! Amazing!

* Romantic and beautiful nights and days of camping in Botswana’s Okavango Delta after lazy rocking mokoro travel through the delta (where a wonderful man named BT took us in his dug-out canoe through the reed pathways, using his pole to navigate the waters (and hippos!). If you want a guide’s number for the Okavango, he’s awesome and you’ll save LOTS of money booking directly. Email me!

* and proposal update: add on Namibia, Angola, Botswana, Zimbabwe, and Zambia to the list! So many good stories about those moments:)

* there are more, but those will have to wait for when I don’t have to thumb type! Thank you for your patience:)

Now we’re back in South Africa after having just crossed the border from Botswana border in our trusty VW Polo (aka “Springbok”). It will be sad to leave her. Her maiden voyage has been quite epic to be a part of!

We head to the Quirimbas Archipelago in northern Mozambique tomorrow morning. Beach time!!!!! Yay!!! We plan to sail and dive off the traditional dhows there. Hopefully we can find one to charter that we can afford!!!???

For more photos, please friend me on Facebook if you haven’t yet and check out pics here. There are a few videos on my YouTube channel too.

Below are pictures of me with a Himba woman in Namibia (she was a midwife too so we had some nice chats. When I told her some peeps in the states ate their placenta she gagged then spit LOL), Springbok at camp on the Skeleton Coast, the red dunes of Soussvlei, and the mokoro in the Okavango Delta.

Be free, fellow Freedom Junkies!

Remember: the world responds to ACTION, so get out there and DO something differently to move you closer towards your freedom!!!! I’m rooting for you;)

Love,

Ana

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Days 252 to 260 I Love My Life!

20121017-230009.jpg I love my life. I don’t even know where to start telling you about why. But what I do know is that there was a little bit of guilt when I started to write this:

“I love my life.”

There’s a small voice that says I shouldn’t write that when so many others are unhappy. Like I’m bragging. Or like I’m going to make others feel bad about their life.

But that’s not why I’m talking about how much I love my life. I’m talking about it first and foremost because I want you to know that it is indeed possible to be this happy. That happiness is not elusive, or some kind of Hollywood bullshit ideal that we need to let go of. I want you to know that you should not settle, because you may be missing out on the ultimate happiness.

I have indeed settled before. And settling is sometimes a stepping stone…a way to feel safe before you take the next leap. And sometimes it is simply what we do because we’re scared to want what we really want.

I’ve been married to a perfectly cool guy and had a pretty sweet life with some travel and adventure and a beautiful home on the hilltop. I had “nothing to complain about,” except for the fact that I had a nagging feeling that there was more.

Then I felt guilty for wanting more. Like, “Girl, you grew up in the ghetto and you’re complaining about this?!”

(Guilt sucks! I’m getting better at not giving it so much power…)

In any event, I made some pretty bold decisions once I realized I was settling – and I define “settling” based on MY terms. I was settling not based on what other people wanted, because many wanted exactly what I had. Instead, I realized that I was settling because MY definition of happiness wasn’t being met. I was an unusual cookie, and my life wasn’t in alignment with ME.

Here are some of the bold moves I took once I realized I wasn’t living life to the fullest:

– Years ago, when this realization first hit, I got a divorce when I realized my partner and I no longer helped each other grow. As time went on and my need for freedom grew:
– I quit my job
– I put my awesome house on the market
– I disappointed someone who really really loved me because I knew that this time around, I wanted to choose to be with someone with whom I had NO DOUBT that we would live lives of freedom, adventure, and purpose together…with ease
– Let me say that again: I chose things to be easy in my relationship. I had lots of opportunities to be happy with a man, but work really hard at it, or have to go through so much bullshit in order to get there. I decided that was not how I wanted to roll.
– I started my own business
– I decided to move to Alaska for the true love of my life
– I committed to living Full On for 365 days in a row (the idea that spawned this blog) after I had another cancer scare (I’d already had cancer twice before). I realized that I was settling once again and wasn’t even aware – even after my previous wake up calls. Settling can be sneaky…

I also set clear intentions for the type of relationship, lifestyle, community, and spiritual evolution that I wanted, and made a commitment to myself to not settle for anything less – AND I allowed myself to be happy even before those things manifested.

Settling does not mean being content. Settling is letting go of your dreams. You can be content with life and not be settling for what you currently have.

For example, I was single, and while I longed for my soul mate, I was able to be happy while not in a relationship. I actually believe I had to reach that state before the Universe brought us together. We had to show we were ready, because any truly kick-ass relationship doesn’t require the other to be the cause/source of your happiness. That’s too much freakin’ work and responsibility for anyone who has any big plans for themselves in life. A relationship is more like the cherry on top…your playmate and partner for this wild ride called Your Life.

I do want to emphasize that getting clear about what I wanted and committing to it was paramount in manifesting my life as I love it right now. If you need to get more clear yourself and find yourself saying, “I’m not even sure about what exactly it is that I want,” or “I know what I DON’T want, but am not sure about what’s next” (great place to start, by the way!), download my free eBook. Pronto.

In any event, I want to let you know that I was also scared…but in a good, about-to-drop-off-the-rollercoaster kind of way. I also had people tell me – very nicely – that I might be making a mistake. They asked me if I was sure I wanted to do such drastic things before I was “sure” all was going to be OK.

Folks, just like waiting until you’re ready before having a baby – you are never going to be “sure” that things are going to be OK through assessing external circumstances. Being OK – feeling content, confident, “Ziji” – is an inner state of mind.

I also had to let go of my specific ideas for what I wanted, like where I wanted to live, or my specific soulmate. I held them in my mind, but focused MORE on asking for a way I would FEEL and BE in a particular scenario like a relationship (then, of course, my specific soulmate arrived;).

I had to learn how to say, “No,” because saying “No” to some things meant I was saying, “Yes!” to others.

I did deep work, reaching out to friends, mentors, my coaches (yes, I have more than one!), and immersed myself in reading and movies and experiences that fully supported my mindset and my choices.

I surrendered.

I asked for help.

So, you might be wondering:

What was the result of those bold moves and deciding that I didn’t need to settle because I was capable of making myself happy without choosing security over freedom and following my bliss?

– I accepted my Renaissance Soul instead of listening to everyone who told me, “You need to focus!” and crafted a lifestyle where I am a Life Coach, Guide, and Mentor to women all over the world; a Nurse-Midwife working in three different states; a Family Nurse Practitioner who works in remote villages and volunteers in refugee camps (I’m on a flight to Entebbe, Uganda as I write this); and an avid blogger who loves to inspire others.
– I am engaged to my soul mate (we met 12 years ago!), who proposed to me as we watched the Northern Lights dancing above us…We were lounging on the sailboat we have dry-docked on our land, surrounded by friends at our yurt as we celebrated our departure to Africa.
– I am taking prenatal vitamins with an actual intention to get pregnant instead of for fabulous hair and nails
– I live a rich lifestyle without the burden of needing “stuff” to feel abundant
– I am amply rewarded – financially and spiritually – for the work I do in all my multi-passionate jobs
– I am surrounded by a tribe of friends that also love to dance, play music, and howl at the moon
– I took five months off this year and still can afford the mortgages on my home in Oregon and my ski condo in Telluride, as well as sushi and wine and those other luxuries I adore;)
– I have a deepening relationship with my mother as I learn more and more how to let go, forgive, and trust – all of which is reinforced as I live from my heart

I am sure there is more, but that is what I wake up feeling gratitude for each day.

I write this for YOU, that you may be inspired to manifest your dreams, and actively create a life lived YOUR way. That you can say, “I know about this chick who grew up in the ghetto. She wasn’t rich or Caucasian or privileged, and she still manifested all the shizzle in life that she wanted. And she was whacky and didn’t play by the rules. She said, ‘No,’ and disappointed others and thought WAY out of the box. She didn’t always do what was safe. She took big risks and was scared, but took risks anyway. Everyone, especially her mother, thought she was crazy.”

And this I say to you:

This mean YOU CAN TOO!

Days 214 to 223 The Multi-Passionate Life and Refusing to Choose

Hey now, I need you to read something, because when I read it myself for the first time, I thought, “Holy shizzle. I freakin’ KNEW it!” :

“You are the owner of a remarkable, multi-talented brain trying to do its work in a world that doesn’t understand who you are and doesn’t know why you behave as you do.”- Barbara Sher, Refuse to Choose.

I know, right? Home sweet home!

The above quote is an excerpt from Barbara Sher’s book about “multi-passionate” people, Refuse to Choose. Some examples of multi-passionates are people like Leonardo DaVinci who was a scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, painter, sculptor, architect, musician, and writer; or Mary Somerville who wrote on astronomy, mathematics, physics, chemistry, mineralogy, and geology; or perhaps you, who might be a yogini massage therapist who also had a stint in acupuncture school then worked as a nurse and as an international climbing guide…oh wait, that’s kinda me…

In any event, when I discovered the term multi-passionate, this term that explained me and my wild ways in a strikingly positive light, I almost cried. I have had so many passions and managed to piece them together in a mandala of sorts that works for me. Even though I have a truly amazing life, for most of it I often felt judged. I felt like people thought I was lazy, or scattered, a dilettante, Jack of All Trades (Master of None), unable to focus…”Why can’t she just pick one thing and stick to it?”

In fact, years ago, I walked in on one of my exes searching the internet for a diagnosis of me. Of ME! He was a surgeon, and surely there must have been a reason that I chose not to spend 10+ years in school as well. He decided I likely had ADD. Um, except I didn’t. People with ADD can’t maintain relationships, they crash their cars, they can’t focus, etc.

I, on the other hand, had the following resume (and thank you, Tia Sparkles, for inspiring me to share my resume):

1991-1996 – Outdoor Recreation Instructor/Leader

1992-2004 – Professional Alpine Mountaineering Guide in the US and internationally

1991 – 1996 – Official campus New York Times paper girl

1996-2002 – Professional Massage Therapist with my own practice as well as working for others as an independent contractor

2004-present – Family Nurse Practitioner

2008-20010 – Yoga Instructor

2007-present – Certified Nurse Midwife

20010 – present – Certified Professional Co-Active Coach and Freedom Junkie (I do this more now that the medical stuff, but I just LOOOOOOOVE catching babies and being fascinated by the human body. There is a lot to be passionate about within both coaching and the medical field, so they keep me quite content;)

Notice the aforementioned mandala of careers which overlap so I can do things my way. Not once did I just have one job. Total time in full-time jobs (during which I still had other stimulating jobs, mostly entrepreneurial)? 5 years. Not bad after 39 years in the USA submerged in the Protestant Work Ethic that founded this country.

I, my dears, have laser focus. I can obsess day and night about something for a really long time. Years even. While ’tis true that many multi-passionates also have ADD (and its associated co-morbidities), it wasn’t attention decifit that I had, darlin’. But more on that later. And yes, I left that relationship.

It also wasn’t that I did many things and sucked at them and got distracted. Au contraire, mon amie. Quite the opposite: I made sure to get into the best schools for everything I studied, and get very competitive jobs (here and internationally) and excel, start my own businesses and thrive, yada yada. Quite simply, what tended to happen was that once I felt I got quite good/knowledgeable at something, this “hideous thing” reared its ugly head which I – as an only and often lonely child – vowed to never experience on a regular basis if my lil’ ol’ self had anything to do with it: BOREDOM (gasp!).

So here is what usually happens with a multi-passionate (aka polymath):

  • You notice that bright shiny object (aka new passion)
  • Then uber-obsession kicks in and you think about it all the freakin’ time
  • Take a deep breath and dive in, baby. Learn all you can. Swim in that shizzle.
  • Start doing said thang
  • And eventually, once you got this/learned “enough,” you may ditch it, quickly finish it up/get it over with, or add another passion to the list

Below are other characteristics of multi-passionates that I’ve gathered from some of my reading lately. See if they apply to you or someone you know:

Multi-passionates love to learn.

Multi-passionates read widely in divergent and not-always-complementary disciplines. Like how what I’m reading now ranges from a revisiting of Martha Beck’s Steering By Starlight, Michael Benavov’s Men of Salt, about a man’s journey along the Sahara’s ancient salt trade route, and the Green Journal of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Seriously. However, as Susan Reid puts it,  “The natural tendency to do so is often what brings about the formulation of brilliant discoveries, new applications, and luminous collaborations.” Word up, yo.

Multi-passionates are badass master mixers/synthesizers. Duh! We know a lot about a lot! They can bring together seemingly disparate ideas and thoughts in remarkable ways.

Multi-passionates have the ability to focus on a given topic for a long period— wait: caveat – that is, as long as is necessary to learn what they need to know. Then they move on. This powerful focus is not to the exclusion of everything else. Rather, it is a stepping-stone to the next thing!

Multi-passionates kick ass at generating ideas. They think conceptually first.

Whew! So there you have it. You’re fine just the way you are.

Oh wait! One more thing: Lots of us multi-passionates freak out about having to choose one thing. The point here? To let you know you don’t have to choose one thing. You can create a mandala like I did, fitting in multiple passions at once. You can drop into one passion for awhile and then move on to the next when you’re ready. Don’t worry about “having” to pick one. Lots of us think we’ll get stuck in one particular thing. You don’t have to, OK? Like the title of Barbara Sher’s book, Refuse to Choose. Go head and pick up a copy for some basic tips on how to eactly do that, or contact me for some multi-passionate coaching!

I’d love to hear if there are more of you multi-passionates out there. Pray do tell in the comments area below. How have you made multi-passionism work for you, or what has been your biggest challenge around it? My guess is many of us Freedom Junkies can totally relate to this concept;)

Full On 365Alright. Now that I’ve gotten off my soapbox about that, what has this lady been doing the past 9 days to live Full On? Well, we finished building the bathhouse and almost finished the chick shack, had a party at the yurt, caught babies for a couple of days, created my new upcoming workshop called (guess!) The Chick Shack, where kickass women will gather to talk all things relationship (keep an eye out for more!).

Now I am in the Pribilof Islands (aka The Galapagos of The North) for 3 weeks. Here, I will be helping to serve the wonderful people in this local village, do some coaching (yay internet/skype!), finish prepping for my workshop, make a list for to-dos before my 2+ months Africa trip, meditate, do yoga, and stop PMS-ing which is getting soooooo old for me right now;) I am on the island of St. Paul, which is the home of the largest fur-seal colony in the world, and also hosts 2 million birds. Yup.

Full On juicy, I say!

Below are some pics of this stunning place (and this is only Day 2 here!). For a cool video of a fur seal talking, click here. And tell me below – is this where Chewbacca got his voice?

10-4. Over and out.

local Russian Orthodox church
St. Paul
on the road out to the fur seal rookeries

 

beautiful crabpots and yes, you probably saw this island on “Deadliest Catch”

 

Note: Ana Neff is a life coach, guide and Freedom Junkie™ She helps passionate people awaken their lives of freedom, adventure and purpose. Her monthly Freedom Junkie™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her “Full-On 365” blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting FreedomJunkie.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)!

How to Get Your MoJo On Before Its Too Late

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Marie Oliver

Running errands, working late, losing sleep, making annoying phone calls and being put on hold, not working out again because you got home too late, not seeing your friends for a few weeks because you’ve got your nose to the grindstone…What’s the point?

What’s the reason behind all the things you’re doing every day? What’s the MoJo behind your ToDo list? In coaching, we talk about the “little a” agenda, and the “Big A” Agenda. The little “a” agenda is the list of all the little steps that get you to your Big “A” Agenda. The Big A is your dreams, your vision, your totally fulfilled, free and kick-ass life.

It’s important to know why you’re doing what you’re doing with your precious life energy, and it’s also important not to confuse the To Dos for the MoJo itself. When we confuse the little a for the Big A…then we’re really screwed. But more on that in a bit.

Let me start with an example of little a and Big A: I want to go to Africa and travel this Fall, as well as volunteer at a refugee camp. I want to write and create and inspire and dive into – with the freedom of time – the newest epic Freedom Junkie program I am creating. On top of that, a requirement is that I do not have to be anywhere at any given moment or be held accountable to anyone but myself, my partner, and the present moment. That’s my Agenda. That’s the MoJo behind my ToDos.

In the meantime, what do I need to do to get there?

  • Quit my job (the one where I loved it but didn’t have freedom of my time) – DONE. I did this a long time ago, but I like to remind myself everytime I do something cool about why I did it;)
  • Not get pregnant – DONE (ditto to the above)
  • Run my Freedom Junkie programs twice as often as usual since I won’t be doing them in the Fall – DONE
  • Save a bunch of money so that even though I may be earning money in the meantime, I don’t have to freak out that I NEED to, and end up coming home early because I am stressed out or something sucky like that. This means I had to save 3 months worth of expenses, at least. – DONE
  • Pay bills in advance – PENDING
  • Write my eZine articles in advance – PENDING
  • Tuck in all my loose ends and do all the crap I have been putting off so I can fully let go – definitely NOT DONE

So, a lot of little “a” things have to happen in order for my vision to happen. Some of them were really big freakin’ deals to pull off! A lot of things on YOUR ToDo list will need to happen in order for you to fulfill your MoJo too. your So, a lot of little “a” things have to happen in order for my vision to happen. Some of them were really big freakin’ deals to pull off! A lot of things onWhen I get stuck in how mundane things are because I am doing some annoying thing like spending half the day on the phone with insurance companies or filling out paperwork or screening renters for my house, getting all the service maintenance done on my car and doing prophylactic plumbing care on my vintage cottage (circa 1912, baby!), I remember my Big A. It helps.

Are you working overtime? When you feel yourself getting down on it and saying things like, “I can’t believe I’m missing out on watching the sunset on the river with my peeps,” how about saying, “I am making sure I’m getting to trek in Nepal in the Fall so I can fan the flames of my Freedom and Adventure MoJo?” That’s a much better place to have your perspective sit and take a rest.

Look at your daily habits and the things you are doing right now – your ToDo things. Are they getting you closer to, or further from, your dreams? Or are they keeping you stuck? Be honest with yourself.

Create and get clear about your vision,then make a list of ToDos that need to happen in order to be living that vision sooner than later. Then go out and do it – remembering, with focus, your reasons why.

Here are warning signs to watch out for when putting together the ToDos for your MoJo

Make sure your MoJo is honored every day.“Balance” in terms of an 8-hour workday and 8 hours of sleep is bull-honkey for most people. However, while you’re passionately cranking out the ToDos to get to your dream, make sure you celebrate some part of your MoJo. After all, you never know when you’re going to croak, so be sure to live a little passion every day. Have great sex. Eat good food. Play outside. In whatever order you like;)

Don’t keep doing things you don’t like with NO “Big A” Agenda in mind
For example, are you working overtime just to have “more money?” What the hell are you doing, amigo? I am now figuratively slapping you with a ltitle sting like in a Telenovela. Everything you do, even something seemingly banal or mundane, must contribute to your life dreams. And my bet is that if you’re a part of the Freedom Junkie Tribe, your dream isn’t to have a lot of money per se, but rather to feel free, have adventures, and take control of your time and money and where you are in the world. If financial abundance happens to come along with that wild ride, then sahweet – buy more drinks for your friends! In the Maldives;) Get in touch with your Big A – what values are you honoring?

Be aware of when your “little a” agenda items are for the purpose of someone else’s dreams, or an Agenda that is actually a really really bad idea that you forgot you were going to ditch once you realized your Badass Life was meant to be lived on your terms.

Like you used to think you wanted to be a doctor to save lives and help people. That was easy people-pleasing at cocktail parties. And you really really like shoes. You like them so much you are really freakin’ good at designing them and celebrating them. In fact, you are the only student in your medical school class who can pull off Fluvogs with scrubs.

You forgot you always wanted to open your own store. But then, in the middle of a 12 hour day indoors in the hospital on a sunny day, you remembered again. You remembered a lot of things about your dreams. So you quit med school. No shit. One of my friends did exactly that. And she has a badass shoe store and donates hundreds of pairs to kids in developing countries every year. Not Fluvogs. But you get the point.

Don’t make your Mojo items consistently eons into the future. Don’t wait for “someday.” Pick actual dates. Take, as Tim Ferriss says in The 4 Hour Work-Week, mini-retirements so that you refill your mojo regularly during this one wild and precious life. Don’t wait till you’re about to die!

Do not confuse your little a for your Big A. Do NOT work overtime thinking it will all be worth it “someday” if you never actually go on that trek in Nepal. You must go, or you’ll loose respect for yourself and your MoJo will whither. We’ve all done it. We’ve made plans, even taken some big leaps, then we make up excuses to turn away from our dreams. Then we keep doing the “little a” things all the time, and they eventually start to seem like Big A things because we forgot why they were so important, but we keep doing them anyway – but they’re not our Big A. They’re distractions.

Like checking Facebook or your emails 100 times a day so you feel important and seen and like people notice you, and that you’re doing really really well. Distraction. What could you be doing instead to get you to your big dream? All those little moments add up, hermana. One study showed employed people spend12.3 minutes on Facebook a day. That’s 76 hour a year – or 3 whole days! Another showed Americans spend 49 minutes a day on managing email. That’s 446 hours or 18.5 entire days!

In summary, I want you to get your MoJo on.

  • What’s Your Mojo? What are your big visions, your passions, your up-and-coming adventures?
  • What ToDos need to happen to manifest your MoJo?
  • How can you keep living your MoJo every day while you work towards that epic vision?

Please share your comments below:  I’d love to hear your answers to one or all of the questions above. When you speak it, there is power.

PS: If there is no MoJo behind what you’re doing, stop messing around. Discover your passions. Join the tribe at www.Facebook.com/TheFreedomJunkie and ask for some support. There are a bunch of wild and crazy Freedom Junkies out there who have been exactly where you are at!

Days 139 to 149 – Balance is Bullshit

If someone says to me, “You’re too busy, it’s not a balanced life,” one more time, I am going to…go get another massage. The day they are feeling just as in love with their lives as I am, then maybe I’ll listen.

Check this out:  When you’re doing something you love so much that you could do it all day for free, when what you’re doing fills your soul and jazzes you up like nothing else matters so that you can stay up all night AND be super pleasant to be around, when creative ideas are flowing through your being and you can implement them one after another but not fast enough, you kinda don’t want a “balanced” life. Because the life you’re living is kicking ass.

My most creative periods have had me up till 5am – happily! Or I multitask and forget to go to yoga. Or I am so excited about what I’m creating that I eat pizza two days in a row and have expensive italian food delivered to my door – with a bottle of Chianti thank you very much – because I don’t want to go to the grocery store. Yes, even though gluten makes me feel bloated.

It’s awesome.

And you know what? When I launch that product or have that special call, I see others light up because of coming into contact what I’ve created. They set out into the world to make a difference, they live their lives on their own terms, they create their dreams. They are TURNED ON. Then, and ONLY then, can I rest. Seriously!

Guess what else? I KNOW this is the case with the entrepreneurs and other creatives out there that I know. Maybe not all, but lots (perhaps even most). Lots of happy ones, with fulfilling lives. My friend, Frederick Schilling, who created the wildly successful organic chocolate company Dagoba, says, “Passion is the fuel for doing the undoable.” Danielle LaPorte, author of The Fire Starter Sessions and one of my fave mentors, loves to quote David Whyte: “The antidote to exhaustion isn’t rest. It’s wholeheartedness.” She goes at it full-on, then unplugs from everything for a month at a time. And yes, she has a kid. My own personal business coach, Christine Kane, works joyfully for weeks – even weekends – then takes a month off (and she does this several times a year). My friend and coach Andrea Owen just spent weeks totally immersed, and cranked out a kick as Self Love Revolution program and then took a week off away from her family (gasp!). She has two kids. Maybe three. Not sure. (I point out the kids because not having a kid myself, I am often reminded how much is “not possible” once you have a kid).

Are we manic? No. We are inspired. It doesn’t mean we don’t get massages or acupuncture or have coaches that help us through the wild ride. It doesn’t mean we don’t hire people to help us do the things we don’t want to do like mow the lawn or fold the laundry. It doesn’t mean we don’t create special time for kids in our lives, or for our partners. It just looks different.

For me, I follow those wild times with not writing a single work item for a month, or not creating another product or training call for MONTHS, or sleeping in and waking up sipping tea and rocking in my hammock, or traveling to Africa and not having anywhere to plug in my iPhone for weeks. It is balanced…eventually. Just not the way lots of peeps think it “should” look.

So, perhaps I can rephrase: Balance is bullshit when you expect it to look like an 8 hour day, 8 hours of sleep, a session of sex and three meals a day and 30 minutes of cardio and 1 hour of yoga for everyone. That certainly works for some! It is also perhaps a balance of time, but what about a balance of energy – YOUR energy style?

Personally, I prefer the all-nighters of sex, then sleeping in, cranking out a program segment over the next 3 days, then going into the wilderness for awhile and sweating and having backcountry sex; Making green drinks every day with huge crunchy salads for lunch and organic yummies for dinner for a week or two, then having pizza and PBR and whiskey and staying up until 4am. I prefer days and days of creation, then lounging in my hammock and having hammock sex at lunchtime (see a theme?) and watching three movies in a row. I prefer forgetting to eat until its 2am and I’m starving and there’s nothing open to have anything delivered (see another theme here?) so I bake my frozen shoestring french fries and top them with leftover shredded parmesan and garlic salt. And maybe an egg. Then I make a green drink in the morning and practice yoga for an hour and a half. I love that feeling when I have created what I wanted, and then I sleep the deepest slumber and wake up psyched for what will show up next.

Find YOUR balance. How do you groove? Don’t spend so much energy balancing time. Balance your energy. Go with YOUR flow. (Hint – The the only caveat:  if you’re ornery, you are likely not balanced. Ask me how I know ;)

You need to know when you’re at your peak and what type of work you need to do at your peak…It’s basically figuring out those times where you’re really creative, or really productive, or really energized, depending on how you want to look at it, and finding all that high leverage stuff, and doing it during those times, not trying to push those things when you’re tired.” ~ Charlie Gilkey (another inspired creative)
Please share with me in the comments below what YOUR version of balance looks like (and yes, it’s OK if you sleep 8 hours and have 3 meals a day;). I’d love to see what variety is out there!
Signing out (1am;)

 

Days 66 to 69 – Creating Kicks Ass

Living Full-On Every DayCreating kicks ass. I know this, because I had my first free three-day weekend in a while (meaning not only did I not have schedule work, but I also had no other plans made) and I chose to focus on Freedom Junkie and create. And you know what? It was awesome. Of course, it would have even more awesome if I were able to do what I did in the wilderness with a view of snow-capped rugged peaks (hmmmm…perhaps that magazine cover with me using an iPad while backpacking isn’t so far from reality as I had originally thought…). However, being able to look out my window and see the distant hills, the blue sky, these gorgeous tree blossoms, and know that I  would have uninterrupted time to create was such an indulgence.

I have often thought about the time available to us in our youth. Sometimes seemingly wasted time, with us lacking the wisdom to “make the most of it.” I have often wistfully yearned for the freedom to have a thought, and ponder it for hours. The hours! What a luxury. And here I gave myself permission to geek out on Ziji for an entire weekend. No answering any calls except from my partner or my mother. No errands. No laundry. Just pure creation. And I couldn’t wait for it to start!

The result? No more jotting down notes while driving, no more dictating blog ideas into my iPhone. No wishing that I was able to completely focus on my genius work (not something I am good at, or even excellent at, but something that fills my cup, that nourishes my soul). I immersed myself in Ziji and it was phantastic;)

I created four new Free Training Calls (aka Jedi Juice). I named them Jedi Juice because of the total badass-ness of the power of creation they open you up to…and because Yoda es el señor). I decided I was going to offer them for free. I got super psyched to pick the topics most important to my Ziji peeps. I got uber invested in offering unbeatable value in everything I offered. I stayed up until 4am writing. I slept in. I did yoga. I went on runs in the hills. I had ideas and I thought about them. For a long time. Uninterrupted.

Revolutionary.

I was on a creative retreat, and I’d never really taken one before.

The first day of this stretch, I held a Ziji Up Mastery Program group coaching call. Then I sat in a steamroom for 30 min and  afterwards I got a 90 minutes massage. Then I sat in the steamroom again. Then I created two new programs that night. Talk about return on investment! I stayed up awhile, but I was jazzed.

So…create! Go forth and freakin’ create! When you are doing something you love, all the work and what you create it is merely love manifested – not burdensome.

What fills your creative soul? Is it singing? Writing? Dressing up or doing your hair or makeup? Is it planing a backcountry expedition? Is it organizing a trip to a remote part of the world? WHAT IS IT?

You must find the answer if you don’t know it yet. If you do know it, DO it and BE it now.

We are creative beings, and to manifest our creative destiny is one of the greatest gifts we can leave this world. If you don’t think you’re “creative” because you don’t know how to draw or because your outfits are boring (“How did she EVER think of wearing socks on her ARMS?” you wonder), or because you’re a science geek, think again.

We are all creative, and we must find our own way of expressing it. Maybe for you it is dance, writing love letters, telling jokes, or cooking, mountain biking, or building a boat! Those are creative acts. Those acts are you expressing yourself in your own way, doing it in your style.

Bring it. The world will be a better place because of it.

 

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly  Freedom Junkie ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by signing up at anaverzone.com! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice