Religion and sex. Discipline and wildness. Security and freedom. There are dichotomies everywhere. It’s nature. Yin and Yang. However, in the culture a lot of us live in, it is considered hypocritical to stand with one foot in each of these contrasting spaces. We are encouraged – and often forced – to choose one or […]
If you’re anything like me (or most humans), you start off with good intentions, make a promise to yourself to do things differently, and then don’t follow through. You may say things like, “I will only have one glass of wine tonight” and it ends up being 3 (or more). Maybe you say, “I won’t […]
Once upon a time, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. As a teen, I was resentful I had a schizophrenic, bi-polar father and a mother that was abusive despite her best intentions. I hated that I grew up in a very poor neighborhood that was so violent my mother didn’t let me get the […]
Here’s a little secret: one of the most relaxing things you can do for yourself – better than a spa vacation in a remote mountain area or trolling a fishing line by your kayak in the Sea of Cortez – is to let people be wrong about you. I know – it sounds crazy, right? […]
Do you remember how proud you were when you set your first “healthy boundary?” I do. I remember finally planting my metaphorical foot down after months of frustration. I told someone I was dating that I wasn’t going to tolerate anymore flaking or not showing up when he said he would. I deserved my time […]
I’m writing this post on Mother’s Day, and I know that not all of us have had deep and fulfilling relationships with our mothers. If your relationship with your mother is intimate and warm, I hope you celebrate this day with her in your heart or in person! Consider yourself blessed. And if you are […]
There was a time when I could say with conviction that I had no regrets. Back then, it was primarily because I was able to conjure up a ton of self-compassion and realize that I was, despite my flaws, always doing my best. And that’s all we really can do. Right?… Well…lately that thought hasn’t […]
Sometimes (and on bad days it’s way more than sometimes), I know exactly what I need to do, and I. Just. Can’t. Do. It. I’m just not motivated. I have a feeling you’re with me on this one. There are days when I know yoga would be just the thing to lift my mood, and […]
I used to have this nightmare several times a year. I’d be standing on the shore, and then a huge tidal wave would form, growing taller and taller, looming over me, turning the sky black and the surroundings gray. Sheer terror would fill me. I’d see it start to arc over me, and instead of […]
I want to let you in on a really important ingredient for creating authentic happiness – the kind that stands the test of time and is more resilient to the hard stuff that comes our way. We often feel that it’s justifiable to feel like something is missing in our lives when we have some heavy […]