Days 96 to 100 Happy Dance! What I’ve Learned After 100 Days of Living Full On

Yeehaw! It is hard to believe that I started this journey just over 100 days ago (I wrote this late last night which was technically Day 101;) Since coming back from the river over the long weekend, I’ve had some time to reflect on what I’ve learned so far on this year-long (and hopefully lifetime!) adventure.

I was on the Smith River Monday and Tuesday, and as I pulled into town after those awesome days on the water, I noticed several things: 1) I was undeniably tan. SO TAN compared to others here in the Pacific Northwest just coming out of the Winter/Spring transition. And despite my history of melanoma, it meant to me that I was playing outside, which made me happy;)

2) I also noticed that I was so relaxed the rest of the week, and that I was less easily irritated and much more patient and present…and freakin’ HAPPY!

I know this shot is cheesy, but I’m singin’ it anyway – 100 days, baby!!!!

Well, I did admittedly catch on fire a bit when someone had been snarky with a student midwife I was teaching. I got all motherly and protective! You should have seen it. I reared up for her like a mama moose;) This happened in the privacy of the two of us hanging out, of course (I have learned a bit of diplomacy over the years) – but I found it more entertaining than unsettling. I’m not kidding though – other than that incident, it was like even if I had WANTED to get pissy I couldn’t have. It was awesome! And this has been growing ever since I started this challenge.

It has been interesting observing my mind this week and reflecting on how things have changed since I started this challenge. Something would happen and I’d say, “Oh bummer. This is totally going to irritate me.” Then I’d wait for the reaction…and it wouldn’t come! I watched it happen a few more times and I thought, “Damn! This shit really works!”

What shit am I referring to?

  • self love
  • compassion
  • responding instead of reacting
  • observing the mind throughout the day (and sitting meditation)
  • taking care of my body – rest AND exercise…and I suppose lots of great sex doesn’t hurt either;)
  • honoring my values
  • surrounding myself with good friends and family
  • making decisions (even HUGE ones!) based on integrity with who I am and what my dreams are
  • building my confidence and courage to take the actions that move me forward towards my dreams
  • striving to be as present as possible with the people I interact with
  • being outdoors as much as possible
  • …and more

In short, all those things make up the definition of what Living Full On means for me. And when I do all those things, I am a happier, more joyous, more compassionate, patient,

Just for kicks I thought I’d toss in this photo of my Happy Mentor: my mom. Hee hee! She’s 77!

loving, and present person. So don’t think for a moment that living Full On is a selfish thing! When you live Full On, you bring light and love and joy to the world.

I think the last time I felt like this – energized, passionate, calm, present, happy, patient, loving, compassionate – so consistently was when I was a climbing guide and living out of my car. It was brilliant. And it IS brilliant to feel that again.

I confirmed what I knew to be true but had a hard time implementing and experiencing in a balanced and regular way while working full-time (and then some;) and living far from big mountains: that I CAN feel that way again. I can feel that way without having to be in the mountains every day of my life and doing scary shit and traveling to remote places. Yes, I WANT to keep doing those things – and WILL. But there is a peace that come from finding this SOURCE, this place to tap into wherever I am.

It doesn’t mean it is OK to ignore my values of being in the outdoors, or finding adventures, or feeling healthy and sexy and alive. It simply means that when I can’t get or do exactly what I want, I am learning how to still feed my soul, and how to do so in a balanced way.

I think the next chapter of this journey is going to involve learning more about balance…refining this dance of living Full On every day.

I’d love to hear about what you do to find balance in your life to give me some ideas for what’s coming up. Please let me know in the comments below. I’m sure others will love to read about it as well! So…

How do YOU balance your passions with other parts of your life?

Also, what does Living Full On mean for you?

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, mentor and Freedom Junkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Freedom Junkie ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting www.FullOn365.com

Days 91 to 95 – Stop Comparing

I have spent the last few days camping at the Cal-Salmon River (yup, that’s in California;). Gorgeous! We came here because Thai is a great paddler and there was a river race of sorts. I hung out with a ton of Badasses. I am badass in my own way (and in case you are wondering, so are YOU!) but we were amongst serious badass water dogs. Having almost drowned twice as a child, a “water dog,” I am not. But I’m kind of a water puppy;)

I had a great time hanging with the peeps, especially my old college friend, Haven, who happened to be parked right next to us when we rolled into town (she had also just read a recent FullOn365.com post!). We hadn’t seen each other for over 15 years). Dozens of peeps played on the water (I even went down a river with a guy in a whitewater canoe!), howled at the moon (well, mostly I did that), and did a little ruckus-raising. No one got hurt during the Class V race, and all was groovy.

I enjoyed myself, even though I am not a good whitewater boater. Suffice it to say, the ability to do that has taken some time to cultivate.

I realized how far I’ve come with minimizing comparisons in my life, and it thrills me! They still happen, of course, but I have to say: I am feeling that all the work I’ve done around recognizing my own unique self-worth has paid off. A few years ago, I would have obsessed all day and night about how I might be able to be as good a kayaker as everyone else, or how I could appear more badass in their eyes…on and on…

It would have been exhausting.

Instead, when I had one of my classic comparison thoughts that goes something like, “(Sigh) my boyfriend probably would love me more if I was a better kayaker,” (I KNOW…we humans are such strange creatures to torture ourselves like that!!!), I quickly had the “antidote” thought and feeling that I LOVE being me, that I need to continue to love life on my terms, being authentic in who I am… Oh yeah, and that my partner loves me lots right NOW, thank you very much. And if he didn’t…oh well. Life is too short to pretend you are someone you’re not. WAY too short.

It’s also too short to be boxing yourself into a limited idea about who you THINK you are…but that’s another post.

All you’re doing when you’re being authentic is calling in the people who will lift you up, and creating space between you and the people who won’t celebrate you, and being relaxed in your BEING and in being fully present to each moment.

So, why do we bother with pretending, or wishing to be someone we’re not? Comparing ourselves to others, and essentially attracting people who won’t celebrate us?! We do it all the time…usually because we don’t don’t believe that we are enough – so we don’t think anyone would celebrate the authentic ME anyway, or that because we fall into old patterns of trying to please or impress.

I know at first it can seem hard to trust that you are completely lovable and amazing as you ALREADY are, and that there are people who would celebrate you as you are (and who likely do already). But you know what? That is the truth.

I went through some serious crap to figure that out (you can check out my bio for a few details about how). And if you’d like, you can choose to go through more crap yourself to figure out how awesome you truly are, right here and right now. OR you can try to trust me on this one, OK? Trust that I am not bullshitting you when I say, “You are more than enough.”

It was awesome letting go of comparing, and I was able to have such a better time! And I found that when you stop comparing, you can more fully celebrate others as well, which was supah fun to do around so many talented people.

Plus, I got to show off my badass manifesting skills for some balance. See, I am really good at manifesting, and my boyfriend is still somewhat confused by it, so I like to show him every now and then.

He had been checking out this rescue best they were raffling off. I said, “Let’s buy a few tickets and I’ll win it for you.” we bought three tickets. I said, “Remind me what it is we’re trying to win, again? A PFD or something?” “Rescue vest he says. So they call numbers, and I get momentarily bummed when our number isn’t called for one of the other prizes. But I remind myself that is simply because our number was going to be called for the vest.

So they get down to the vest, and they say “0-5-2” and I jump up psyched! Our number! The irony of the only chick who didn’t paddle there winning the grand prize of a high-tech rescue vest wasn’t lost on me. I quickly handed it to my boyfriend to avoid bitter vibes;)

Oh, and while I was on a roll at doing things imperfectly and having a great time, we visited our friend John in Arcata and I painted my first oil painting! That’s a pic of it above. Doing things imperfectly is fun;)

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting anaverzone.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call on the Law of Attraction at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

Days 87 to 90 – Flipping the Kayak and Getting Connected

Living Full-On Every DaySo…some of you may be wondering what happened after the kayaking trip? I flipped the packraft while following Thai into a rapid, and spent the rest of the trip mildly hypothermic, slightly pissed at him for taking me on a “float” trip with rapids (one called Horseshoe Falls or something!?), but also knowing mostly I was only pissed because it was cold;) I’ve been in the hypothermic bad mood before, so I quickly applied the antidotes:

I immediately got into the car after getting out of my boat and wet clothes, blasted the heat, opened a beer, turned on the radio which happened to be on Madonna, and practiced my Jedi Mindtricks of reframing.

I felt disconnected again, and cold, but I decided that instead of focusing on what I didn’t want, I’d focus on what I didwant. So I looked at the photo Thai took of me right before we got into the river and how smiley and magical I was feeling. And I will admit to you that I blurted out, soon after that photo, “Hey…I need to feel more connected to you, and I need to hear you express your love a bit more right now.” So he told me in poetic Spanish (he’s Italian and Vietnamese, by the way) how he has loved me for 12 years, and always will, and that he loves me like no other. And that he will love me, as always, forever…and did that now count enough

My packrafting superhero look

that I didn’t have to worry about it ever again;)

Funny how a cold-water flip can wipe away a memory like that for a bit. So it is important to have these skills to tap into the positive things in our lives regularly!

So now I am back to feeling connected. Yay!

Other things: I dropped my mom off at the airport today. It was a lovely 4 day visit, which is the amount of time we can spend together and still fully

Here we are hanging out by the river…My 76 year old mama and me!

appreciate one another’s awesomeness. So, as of today, I still feel she is awesome;) We went to a bonfire one night, we watched Thai kayak and had a beautiful heart to heart by the river. Nature and stillness is a beautiful container for opening the heart.

After we settled in by the river and listened to the rapids, she asked me, “Ana, what did you think of how I raised you?”

Holy sh*t! Now THAT’s a rainbow! (along the Rogue River)

Hmmm. Trick question? I decided to be honest.

“Well, I know you always did the very best you could. I wish there had been less fighting, and hitting and yelling, but I am proud of who I am. And the most important thing you taught me was that I can do anything.”

Her response? “I know. I am sorry for doing those things. Back then I thought that’s how you got kids to listen to you. It’s how I was raised, and how a lot of people in my culture raised their kids. I’m sorry. I didn’t know then what I know now – that you can talk to your kids and explain things. So, I’m sorry.”

And she sat there all cute, by the river, and a red-tailed hawk flew overhead and I hugged her. I told her thank you for saying that to me.

Old dogs can learn new tricks. She is 76 (going on 77).

So, now I am reminded how hypothermia and getting older are not good excuses for staying in negative patterns…I LOVE getting rid of those 😉

 

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting Anaverzone.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call at Anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

Days 83 to 86 Feeling Disconnected

Living Full-On Every DayMonday I danced in the warm rain. It felt so grounding to have raindrops landing on my face, feeling my body interact with the elements and with my surrounding environment. Being indoors (by that, I mean in a temperature-controlled house) felt stifling after I had spent so many of the last few days in Alaska sleeping outside, in a rustic cabin, yurt, or on a boat (where I was lulled to sleep as I felt the water make subtle shifts below me). Playing outside, I had been feeling the biting wind, the hot sun reflecting off the beautiful white snow, the cold ice running down my back and behind my bum when I flipped trying to make a tele turn on something slightly over my head. Here, indoors, I was feeling disconnected.

So I went outside as soon as I heard the first raindrops. I was going to just bring something to my car, when I head a bird fly overhead and looked up. I felt the first drop hit my face, and it was YUMMY! I put my things in the car and turned around to go back in the house and I paused at the first step on the walkway. I looked up again and felt more drops hit my skin. I was waking up! I took off my hoodie, and let myself take BIG deep breaths. The scent of fresh warm spring rain was intoxicating. I got soaked, and it came down even harder in a huge dump, and I laughed! Well, perhaps giggled is more appropriate of a descriptor, then guffaw.

I loved how something so simple could help me feel so connected and grounded again.

Recovering that feeling isn’t always so easy in relationships.

The past few days I have been feeling disconnected from my partner. We were both so busy, and we have only been able to catch 1-2 hours of awake time together this week. I missed him. And worse, I didn’t feel like he missed me. Even though he sends me cute texts and makes me dinner and we have yummy quickie sex because our morning schedules don’t permit anything else.

Of course, this is because I tend to catastrophize when I have too much coffee and because sometimes, I tend to convince myself that awesome things in my life are too good to be true (which, by the way, ultimately sabotages them – so watch out for that in your own life!). I even remember having this same feeling come up a few months ago, and it all ended up being nothing (this, of course, I discovered after putting myself through my own personal hell for a few hours).

I’ve learned that in recognizing habitual patterns and reactions, it is important to ask yourself, “What triggered this?” What emotion am I trying to soothe? Where did it come from?  What is the root cause (usually something having to do completely with your own shit)? What am I needing right now that I can give myself? It is important to know how to get your needs met without expecting someone else to do it for you. Friends and family and partners can help hold the space for you, but ultimately, you need to go there yourself.

Even with knowing that experiencing this feeling before was a drama of my own creation, I still REALLY want to have some deep conversation about my shitty feelings and what’s wrong and is there some god-awful truth I am not aware of and other such distracting questions. Is there something OUTSIDE of myself that I can’t control, or something so at my core that is so ME that is causing this, so that I can throw my hands up and give up and say, “Whew! I knew it! Glad I don’t have to work on being vulnerable and uncomfortable anymore. Bye!” Because while it is a whole lot more dramatic and exhausting, closing off the heart can seem a whole lot easier than staying open with your heart and being painfully and frighteningly vulnerable sometimes. Turning towards something can often feel harder than turning (or pushing) away.

So yes, that is why, in an I-am-completely-aware-this-is-an-upper-limit-problem kind of way, I still really want to have A TALK. But wait…

Is there a version of dancing in the rain that I can conjure up  in this scenario? I’d much prefer that. I find that when I can self-soothe when stressed or bummed out, that once I feel better, I have a healthier perspective, and if I STILL want to talk about something after that, I can do so in a much more productive and compassionate way.

Hmmm. What a clever idea.

So what grounds me and connects me to MY soul? Nature, adventure, being outside.

Today we are going to kayak. Well, he will kayak and I will be in the packraft (which I LOVE because I can plow through scary things more often than get flipped over). It might even rain on us while we’re out there. Sounds like a recipe for helping me feel connected.

Maybe the two of us, dancing on the water together in our boats, will do the trick;)

Stay tuned…

 

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting Anaverzone.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call on the Law of Attraction at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

Days 78 to 82 – Confessions of a Perfectionist

Living Full-On Every DayI know you all have seen photos that I’ve posted about backcountry skiing trips in Alaska and Colorado etc. What you may not know is that I’m relatively new to skiing. I’ve owned skis for a long time…but actually using them on a regular basis has somehow eluded me. I think it is that “fear of falling on my face at high speeds” thing. But admittedly, there’s more.

This year, Alaska got dumped on (where as the lower 48 got barely anything for most of the winter), my partner is from Alaska, and he definitely skis. So, I strapped those boards on more than ever this year, and it was a true experience in being humbled, and getting over my perfectionism (which  had conveniently forgotten about).

You see, I’m actually used to big mountains. Lots of skiers, when they come to Alaska, are at least temporarily overwhelmed by the largess of what surrounds them. The largess, I am used to. I’ve guided in the Himalaya and even in Alaska itself. The massive glaciers and peaks are awe-inspiring, and at the same time, I am more accustomed to them than most outdoorsy peeps. But with slippery boards attached to my feet, I was freaked out to be in those big mountains, to put it mildly. And beyond that, if I were being truly honest, it wasn’t even fear that bothered me so much, because I adapt that way pretty quickly.

Getting ready for to head out from the Homer Spit for some sailing and skiing

What got to me was sucking at something.

I am all about growth. After all, Full On 365 is about me pushing myself to grow in every humanly way possible, not just through physical challenges, but spiritual ones as well. And Alaska – as big mountains often do – pushed me to stretch in both ways this winter.

I know how to climb (rock snow, and ice), I know how to carry big heavy packs and suffer for the inevitably epic reward at the end of the adventure, and for the amazing times to be had on the journey itself. I know how to assess mountain terrain and cross big rivers and manage being in grizzly territory and plan big adventures in foreign countries and how to stay warm with very little clothing.

But, my dears, I know not how to ski very well. And that fact has kept me from doing it – often.

I have often spoken with my clients about how perfectionism, and needing to do something uber well every time can keep you from actually experiencing life –  and more importantly, from enjoying it! Who cares if you don’t do it perfectly, right?

I do.

I’d like to not care, but I do. And it has taken me a lot of work to move through that, which is why I think I can speak about it so well to my clients, and help them through it as well. So when perfectionism reared its ugly head again on this recent trip, I was taken aback.

Pretty much every trip to Alaska this winter involved skiing. And not just every trip, but every day. And I went along, a somewhat reluctant adventurer this time around, wanting to learn and get better (the only way to get better is to DO it!) and hang out with my tribe in beautiful places having an awesome time, even if I did fall on my ass (and face) all day.

Getting ready to ski – ocean to mountaintop! – at Jakalof Bay

However, every one of my friends is a really good skier. I mean REALLY good. Some of them don’t even climb, but many have been skiing for the larger part of their lives, and telemarking at least several years. I was on tele skis as well, which are trickier that alpine skis because your heel isn’t locked down to the ski itself, and it involves a refined technique to make downhill turns. The tradeoff is that because your heel isn’t locked down, it allows you to strap skins on and hike uphill – to big mountaintops and to remote places. Sahweet, and totally worth it for me! Plus, making a good tele turn is a high in and of itself. But falling on your face when everyone else is rockin’ it seemingly effortlessly down the slopes doesn’t feel so awesome.

On this last trip, my partner and I happened to also go sailing – an absolutely stunning trip with incredible views and fortunate weather. We brought skis, too. We were going to be out for 2.5 days, and we skied for the first day above Jakalof Bay on Broken Knife. It was hard going uphill in funky snow for me (oh yeah, I forgot to mention – not only was skiing hard, but being out of shape hiking uphill in skis didn’t help either. I didn’t do much of that in Oregon the last few months). Then it was sketchy coming down in crusty heavy wet snow and I fell every two turns. We had to navigate through trees and gullies to get back to the road before hiking back down to the boat. But it was gorgeous at the top, and I felt satisfied back at the boat and relieved after having survived.

The next day, my partner suggested we go for a beach hike, or a sail into some other bays. I was pleased at this. To have a day when I wasn’t struggling up  – or down – a mountain was a lovely thought to me. It sounded so…relaxing.

Then, a boatload of people (literally) pulled up in skies at the dock we had slept at, and two of Thai’s friends (Thais is my partner – I always forget to just say his name) showed up inviting us to ski. He looked at me and said, “So what do you think?”

Just before falling on my face every two turns

And I wanted soooooo badly to shout back, “WTF do you think!!!!! NO I don’t want to ski. I’m tired of being stressed out and feeling lame and sucky at something. I am tired of struggling uphill and feeling out of shape and clumsy. I would like to do something I am fucking GOOD at today!”

But I didn’t yell that. I just said calmly, “The last thing I want to do right now is go backcountry skiing with a bunch of strangers.” And he understood.

But you see, I think I WOULD have liked to have gone. What I didn’t want was to feel all that incompetence and struggle and other icky feelings. And I realized that was ALL MY SHIT. Thai didn’t care if I was slow or if I fell. He loved being out there with me no matter what. And I felt a sadness that I was keeping myself from having another adventure. If I didn’t care what other people thought, if I didn’t compare myself to others, I would have gone, at my own pace, in my own way.

Sigh.

So I took a walk to the end of the dock after everyone left for their kick-ass adventure, and I sat on the edge, looking at the mountains and at the reflections in the beautiful water, and I cried. I didn’t like feeling embarrassed or scared to do something. I didn’t like feeling like I was holding my partner back (I told him to catch up to them and go, while I hung out and read and went for a hike or something, but he wanted to stay with me). Whatever was going on, I didn’t like it. But I let it wash over me. It was so obvious to me that it was my shit, my deep feelings of self-worth and all that shtuff were getting their buttons pushed. So I opened to it all. I was surprised by it, but attentively watched it all move through me like a movie.

Views of distant volcanoes from Tutka Bay

Then I allowed myself to receive my partner’s hugs and words of love and encouragement, and we set sail. The water was stunning and perfect and we had porpoises playing around us, views of the marine volcanoes across the water, and watched sea otters and loons and it was just…life at its finest.

I felt better.

(Here’s a video of the porpoises playing ear the boat: http://youtu.be/f9hLElIRia8 )

The next day, we met some friends at a mountain cabin for a work party, and we almost didn’t ski because it was drizzling and there was a lot of work to be done on the cabin. But then it got a bit warmer, and it was decided that skiing was the thing to do. Ugh.

I had left my skis at the car for these last two days in Alaska. And I was going to continue to leave them there. I was with a group of guys, all of whom go backcountry skiing almost every day after a long day at work, when most people make dinner and go to bed. Hell no I was not going to ski again. Especially after my messed up epic falling every two turns at Broken Knife.

But these guys are convincing, and kind, and oh so sweet, and they repeatedly told me how it didn’t matter, that we wouldn’t be doing anything epic and that I could turn around whenever I wanted. But what really got me was when our friend Cliff said, “You have to get your skiing mojo back, You have to remember that skiing isn’t about the falling or the crappy snow. Come out and get your mojo back.”

Again, the reluctant skier, I went.

And IT WAS FREAKIN’ AMAZING!

We hiked up to this gorgeous broad face of snow, hung out at the top and shared some scooby snacks, then we skied down. I fell once, but before and after that, I linked beautiful turns in perfect spring snow, and took in the views and laughed and smiled a HUGE smile because it was so incredibly fun.

Mojo back.

So, I am not saying one should push themselves to being uncomfortable every day in order to grow. I am also not saying that wanting to just rest on the sailboat was in anyway “wrong” on my part. But what I do want to remind myself of is that I cannot let my desire to be good at something (let alone kick-ass at something) keep me from doing it imperfectly.

Do it imperfectly. The imperfect moments in life are TOO MUCH FUN.

 

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting Anaverzone.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call on the Law of Attraction at Anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

 

Days 70 to 73 – Fall in Love With Yourself

Living Full-On Every DayI was beating myself up for multi-tasking today. Yesterday, I was in the middle of doing something with a dear friend when she told me her husband was just diagnosed with cancer. Now, I’ve had cancer twice, and I know how that affected my loved ones when they found out. And I was flat-out PISSED that I was having to finish this “thing” we were doing before I could be totally present with her. I was thinking, “WTF!? How can I keep having to do this without stopping and giving her a hug?!” It pained me.

Well, for starters, we were in a surgery, so yeah, I couldn’t hug her. But I put my forehead against hers and we waited until the end.

Then later I was checking email on my phone and my mom called so I answered and put her on speaker phone and kept checking my email and I thought, “Wait! This is your MOTHER! What if she dies tomorrow? And the last time you talk to her you were thinking about flight times?” (BTW in case you haven’t noticed, the thought of me or others dying doesn’t freak me out. It reminds me to “Wake The Fuck Up!”) Sorry for all the F-bombs;)

I have vowed to not multitask today. Not for the weekend – just for today. You see, I am addicted to getting shit done!

I was going to write more about this addiction of mine, when a recent email from a client popped up for some reason (OK Universe, I’m listening!), and it said, “Thank you…I am falling in love with myself again” (you know who you are – yay;). Then I opened another email from a FullOn365 reader that said, “I am focusing every day on my healing and letting go of the idea that I must be a mother at all costs. We are all spirits having a human experience and this is mine to have that with…I need to advance.”(you know who YOU are;) Yes. YES. YESSS!!!!!Then all these images came flooding in of the sistahs in my Ziji Up Mastery Program talking about how amazing it feels to start nurturing a sense of self-love again.

So I guess I’ll write about that, even though there is kind of no segue. There must be a reason, and you have to listen when it calls;) Maybe it means something particularly special for someone out there.

Here’s the take-home point ahead of time, in case you can’t read further:

We must all fall in love with ourselves (again).

As kids it was much more easy to love ourselves. Then we made a few mistakes because hey, we were like 5…then it became relatively easy to beat ourselves up. And as we got older it was easier to look at how messed up things have gotten and feel like we are broken. And it seemed to have happened so quickly, this falling out of love with ourselves.

YOU ARE NOT BROKEN.

100% of the time (yes, EVERY TIME) when a client tells me they feel they are broken, then they tell me the shit they’ve been through, I think, “Damn sistah! You’ve been through hell and back and here you are. If you were broken, you wouldn’t be here with me right here and right now. Welcome.”

Just because we make the same mistakes, just because we keep screwing up, just because bad shit keeps happening to us doesn’t mean we are broken. It means we are still having a lesson to learn. It means we need to do things differently. Maybe it means we need more support. It also means we are needing to fall in love with ourselves. So many of us can offer this love and compassion to others, yet leave the scraps for ourselves. All the above means a whole lot of things – but NOT that you are broken.

START LOVING YOURSELF – FIRST! It is the best thing you can do for others! I am not saying to be selfish (although many of you may have an inner voice that tells you loving yourself first is selfish, but that’s OK. Just hang with me here for a bit). I am talking basic facts – only through taking care of yourself can you take care of others.

You know on the airplane, how they tell you to put the mask on YOURSELF before YOUR CHILD?! It ain’t rocket science, baby. And did you know that many ailments in adulthood stem from events happening in-utero, with the little person developing in their mama and those mamas not eating well, or resting, or exercising, or avoiding stress (aka loving on themselves)? It’s true!

One of the basic philosophies that I was trained in (and believed in even before I went through my coaching program) is to view my clients as naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. This seemed natural to me, yet apparently it is not how most people view themselves or others…especially others asking for help.

YOU are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. You kick ass. You are a badass waiting to be let out of your shell. A frickin’ puma in a cage. You are all of that, and MORE. So let yourself OUT and love yourself. And just so you don’t think I’m full of it it because I may not know you, check this out: WE ARE ALL THAT WAY. Even that ex you don’t think so highly of. Even your critical annoying sister. Even your angry father. We all just got off track in understanding what we truly needed to be happy and stopped loving on ourselves, and therefore on others (mean people always dislike themselves more than they ever dislike anyone else).

Do you know why we treat ourselves so poorly (we can be SO MEAN to ourselves! Listen to what these inner gremlins say!)? It is because deep down we KNOW we can do better. We KNOW we can make better choices. And we’re pissed that we don’t let ourselves out of the cage that we can – in an instant – open with one thought; that thought being, “I am worthy of love, and I am able.”

There’s more, “Not only that, but I am able because that is what I was born to do. I am magnificent because I was born to be nothing less. So now I am going to start living like it. Start showing up the way I was meant to.” And FIRST showing up for yourself in the way you need to

I say don’t just think you are enough. Know you are MORE than enough. And again, start with loving yourself.

When we decide to fall in love with ourselves again, it can be easy to start on the mental trip of going through all our regrets and trying to convince ourselves we are worthy of forgiveness.

Here’s the good news: Just start with treating yourself well. Rest when you’re tired. Play when you’re bored. Get a massage. Call in sick (but don’t get sick!) Take yourself out on a date. Hire a house cleaner. Get up early and meditate (as long as you’ve had enough sleep!). Go to bed by 9pm (gasp!). Have a  foot soak and watch a funny movie. Take a long weekend to climb that mountain you’ve been wanting to climb. You get the idea.

I’d love to hear what you do for self care – and therefore self love. Please share;)

Shizzle. I hope all that helped you feel a little love inside 😉

 

(PS: check out the Jedi Juice™ training call in May on making choices to help you be alignment with lovin’ on yourself;)

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting anaverzone.com (note: it’s new look will be up to rock your world soon)! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

 

From Hopelessness to Happiness – A Learnable Life Skill

“Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look.” ~ Pema Chodron

I had a very sad experience this past week. A family had lost their baby, in the hospital, within 24 hours of their birth, from an accident. The air was heavy with compassion, as well as the underlying fear that something just as horrible could happen to us – by accident. The intensity of the grief was palpable, and I was in awe of how humans can actually make it through an experience like that.

Many people do get through life’s formidable challenges and continue with their lives, albeit changed. I got to thinking about resiliency, and how some people seem to take life’s blows – big or small – with relative grace, and others get thrown and sucked down by relatively less stressful events. What was up with that?

What helps people bounce back (or stay steady to begin with)?

I’ll give two examples of different perspectives that I’ve seen recently (names changed, of course).

If life could be graded, Christina would give hers an F.U. Her new job is stressful, her teenage daughter is struggling with depression, she and her husband are fighting a lot lately, and she hates herself for the extra 30 pounds she’s carrying.

Christina feels hopeless and her life seems depressing and dark. Every setback reinforces her feelings of pessimism and grim certainty that nothing will ever get better.

Barbara’s struggles seem just as daunting. Her husband just lost his job, two months after the birth of their first child. She is responsible for her elderly mother, who is becoming increasingly frail. To make things worse, her best friend and main support is moving to another state (yikes!) and the landlord just raised the rent by $200. Despite all this, Barbara gives her life a strong B+ and knows there are some A+wesome days ahead.

I’ve done my share of studying and exploring mindset and it’s effect on resiliency and optimism. A lot of my interest started because I grew up in the ghetto, and I wondered why some of us “got out,” and others didn’t. Most people don’t believe me when I say that about the ghetto, but then I point out that the movie Dangerous Minds was based on my neighborhood, and then they believe me.

Growing up, I watched most of my friends join gangs, drop out of school, and have babies by the time they were 16. I had a gun pointed at my face, point blank, when I was 15. When he pulled the trigger he aimed it just left of my head to be funny. To top it off, I had a schizophrenic bipolar father, an (ahem) challenging and aggressive mother, and I walked around – literally – with holes in my shoes.

But dangit, if that paragraph had you wanting to buy me a Coke, let me tell you: I was somehow happier than my other friends were.

For a long while I thought I was messed up somehow. For realz! Like I didn’t understand some “mature” truth about life that somehow made it suck more.

Then I started to pick up on the fact that despite my father being schizo-affective, when he wasn’t having paranoid delusions, he was actually super funny and positive. And my mother, while needing a few courses on anger management back then, was utterly unfailing in the way she supported anything I wanted to accomplish, and bounced back from adversity pretty quickly. And it was REAL! For both of them!

Somehow, our life wasn’t “ideal,” but we were going to have enjoy it anyway. And my parents always said, “Obstacles can become opportunities.” (We heard a baptist preacher give a speech at a graduation once, and he went through each letter of the alphabet like that, e.g. challenges into consciousness, and they stuck.) My one other friend from my neighborhood who went to college? Also optimistic. Ever since we were kids it was obvious.

Snap! I started thinking that while optimism wasn’t the only reason, it was probably a big one.

Using the examples above, I’ll bet your bottom dollar that unlike Christina, Barbara sees her setbacks as temporary obstacles to be overcome. To her, crises are a part of life, opportunities for her to gain wisdom and courage.

Put simply, some people are optimists and others are pessimists. However, optimism isn’t an accident–it’s a skill that can be learned, one that can help us feel better, resist depression and greatly improve our lives. I learned it from my parents, for sure. Studies have also shown that some part of optimism (a SMALL part) is indeed a biological wiring of our brain but – HEY! If you have pessimistic tendencies, don’t go down the “permanent” path – it is malleable! You can teach yourself, and learn, how to be optimistic. And that means you can teach yourself to be healthier and happier.

I Can Learn to Be Optimistic? Prove it!

OK.

Psychologist, clinical researcher, and bestselling author Martin Seligman has spent 25 years studying optimism and pessimism, and is one of the founding leaders of the Positive Psychology field. In his book, Learned Optimism, he states that pessimistic thinking can undermine not just our behavior but our success in all areas of our lives.

“Pessimism is escapable,” he writes. “Pessimists can learn to be optimists.” Does this mean when you are optimistic that you walk around ignoring suffering and negativity? Hellz no! It means you learn to not spiral down into a place where you are doing yourself more harm than good. And it means you don’t spend all your energy trying to protect yourself from suffering because you get that it is a part of life, so you might as well get on the bouncing-back-quickly bandwagon and learn some skillz. It means that you give yourself and others the benefit of the doubt, and you have a more positive experience in life, and more happiness, even if nothing else in your life changed.

So why not, right?!

By altering our view of our lives, we can actually alter our lives, Seligman says. First, we must recognize our “explanatory style,” which is what we say to ourselves when we experience a setback (aka gremlin alert). By breaking the “I give up” pattern of thinking and changing our interior negative dialogue, we can encourage what he calls “flexible optimism.”

He believes that focusing on our innate character strengths (wisdom, courage, compassion), rather than our perceived failures boosts not just our moods, but our immune system. Research has shown that optimistic people tend to be healthier and experience more success in life; therefore, he encourages parents to develop the patterns of optimism in their children.

Practicing “spiritual optimism” is another way to improve the quality of our lives. Joan Borysenko, psychologist, speaker and author of several books, including Fire in the Soul, encourages people who experience feelings of despair and hopelessness in times of crises to remember it takes courage to live, and that we can find that courage by facing our fears, finding support and using meditationm or prayer.

Similar techniques outlined by Dr. David Burns in his book Feeling Good: “The New Mood Therapy,” have been effective in treating depression. He believes that changing our thinking has a profound effect on our moods, including cases of severe depression. It’s not our lives that depress us, he writes, but our thinking about our lives.

There are multiple theories out there, and a growing body of decades worth of research, supporting the idea that unless Christina begins to change her thinking, her life’s outlook may remain bleak and dismal. Barbara, however, is likely to experience more satisfying and fulfilling years ahead because she believes her life is filled with “challenges and opportunities,” rather than “struggles and obstacles” (same same, but different).

Where do you fall on the scale of optimism vs pessimism? Check out the UPenn site where they have all sorts of fun positive psychology tests (Optimism Test, Compassionate Love, Authentic Happiness Inventory to name a few) that might help you learn more about where you can grow, and where you’re already dropping into how awesome YOU and your life are.

Keep an eye out in April for my upcoming FREE teleseminar, “What the Hell Just Happened!? Adapting to Change.” I’ll probably change the title, but that sounded fun for now;) If you want to get on the wait list, let me know here and I’ll send you early registration (I will limit it to 20 people so we can interact during the call).

In the meantime, try a daily practice of waking up and practicing gratitude first thing in the morning (=before you even get out of bed, even before you open your eyes, or have sex). Its a great way to set the tone for your day’s mindset.

Note: Ana Neff is known as the Ziji™ Mentor. She helps individuals awaken their lives and personal success with confidence, clarity, and passion. Her monthly Ziji Up! eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting www.ZijiLife.com

Days 50 to 53 – Loving and Receiving Fully Kicks Ass

Living Full-On Every DayWow…so sometimes when you live full on, the Universe reminds you of exactly how happy this makes her, and how much more beautiful the world is because of it.

When I was facing a serious cancer and going through my inventory of possible regrets, I had but one major one. I was pretty happy about that. I had learned enough to attempt to appreciate life regularly, and had spent all of my 20s adventuring all over the world. I had begun deep healing in my relationships with my parents. I was a whacky but fiercely loyal friend and partner. And I had learned to be compassionate with myself about using the word “regret.”

I had a general rule that if I learned from the experience and made amends for it, I could call it a mistake or a lesson, rather than a regret. But let me tell you this: when looking at not being able to do anything about a regret cuz you may die, even one regret SUCKS.

So…I am guessing you’re wondering: What was my ONE major regret? It had to do with LOVE, of course! I had one great love that I had not fully appreciated or done everything I could for. We met in Kathmandu in our 20s, and all sorts of social “rights” and “wrongs” (too soon after a breakup so maybe I wasn’t clear…having to do the responsible thing…yada yada) kept me from saying “yes” when he asked, “Will you come ride a motorcycle with me through Cambodia and Laos?” Or months later when he came to visit me en route to Antarctica.

Us in our 20s, stuck in Baja during to 9/11(after sea kayaking Isla Espiritu Santo)

We kept in touch, regularly. We had 2-3 hour phone conversations (even until recently!). We tried to date but were always on different continents. Not different continents like North vs South America. Like Antarctica vs North America. That made it challenging.

Then I pushed him away by doing some hurtful things that I didn’t know were hurtful at the time…probably because my heart was closed off after hearing he was dating a woman in Antarctica, or dating a woman in Alaska. Sheesh. How embarrassing. Apparently those things kind of kept him from opening his heart to me anymore then. Fair enough. You can’t expect someone to open their heart to you if yours is squeezing shut.

We talked about “us” and resigned ourselves to the fact that while we both wanted to be together and give it a go, perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be in this lifetime. It was too difficult to make it happen. So we became “just” friends. REALLY good friends. Like he called me from the South Pole, or sent me little trinkets from Egypt or Bolivia when he would barely email anyone else, and called me when he was having a really hard decision to make. Or like I would call him when something awesome happened in my life…like, oh, say…when I got engaged.

We had promised each other we’d tell the other person – not matter how distanced we may ever become – if either of us got engaged. I can safely say we both assumed this was to give the other person a last chance to go for it.

So I called him. And he sounded surprised, then…he congratulated me.

Sigh.

I hate to admit it now, but I was indeed disappointed. It might have been wise to listen to that. It could have spared me my later divorce (albeit an amicable one, for my ex was indeed a super awesome man). However, I was young on my path to understanding my intuition then. I had chalked it up to “grass is greener” syndrome. Plus, he had a girlfriend he met in Antarctica that swam to islands in Fiji with him with a plastic bag tied around their ankle full of their belongings. WTF. How can you top that when you’re stuck doing 12 hour shifts at a hospital while in graduate school in San Francisco (albeit also squeezing in Yosemite walls and climbing trips to Australia, alone)? You don’t. You just are happy for him, that’s what. Sheesh.

In any event, as I was preparing for my cancer excision and renal auto-transplant in 2004, wondering how sick I was (or how sick I was going to be), I thought of HIM. That relationship was my one “What if.” HE was the one thing I had wished I had gone for fully. Not pushing him away. Not making up stupid excuses. Not waiting until it was convenient or easy. And now I was married, and he was about to be engaged (although I didn’t know that at the time), and both our partners were totally amazing. Fuck.

So I let it go.

I KNOW, right?! But I wanted to do what seemed like the “right thing” then… and a big part of me still feels good about that.

In any event, I tell you all this because the Universe is supposed to have come in and given me props for all my full-on living thus far. And she did.

The past few days when I wasn’t writing here, I was fully experiencing love with HIM. I am 38, and I am finally with him. I know now that the decade+ delay was all for good reasons. We appreciate each other even more now, that’s for sure. We learned to love one another as friends. We REALLY know each others’ crap, and knowing that the other person still wants to be with us after all that is rather lovely. And we learned many things in our other relationships that we didn’t have to learn with each other, which surely spared some heartache. And there are many other things to celebrate about having surrendered to the Universe back then. But no matter what, all I know is I am absolutely receiving love from him, fully and completely. And dishing it out.

Yes yes, we are building our lives together, and making all those plans and talking about kids etc. But for me, the point is that I AM FINALLY ABLE TO LOVE HIM FULLY, LIKE I ALWAYS WANTED TO. And I am receiving his love fully, like I never let myself do before. To be honest, even if we don’t stay together “forever,” I can die knowing I experienced my great love. And that is so much better than a “What if.”

Many of you could call my bluff…if you’ve truly been dealing with dying before you were ready before. I have to admit, there’s nothing like that to get you to realize exactly HOW SHITTY it feels to have “What ifs” when you are possibly going to die much sooner than you ever thought possible.

And now I got a second chance. How often does that happen? Probably not often, because actually we also have a huge part in CREATING those second chances ourselves, and we often give up too soon. But having said that, THANK YOU for this second chance (to all involved)!

It wasn’t an easy peasy “I’ll call you and let’s meet up for coffee” kind of thing. We were still almost a continent apart. When we both first opened up to this possibility again, he was heading off to China, and after that trip he returned to his home-base in Alaska (I was currently in Oregon). Getting to be with him took some balls this time around too. I really had to take some risks, and so did he. But it was so worth it. So very, very worth it.

I was talking to a client the other day about wanting to protect our hearts, and I was reminded of my new willingness for it to get hurt again as long as I am honoring my truth all the while. It is NOT worth protecting it at the price of possibly not loving fully again (there are wise ways to do this, but that’s another post;) The risks, while scary, are part of the dealio.

So the past few days have been me receiving fully and loving fully. And I find little notes from him in my stuff, and I watch him sleep and I’m like, “HOLY SHIT! I am with him! Like I always felt I should be! This is SO WEIRD! And so incredibly cool.” Talk about patience and faith and trust. And risk-taking. And … who knows what else.

Us in Mali, West Africa – on a different adventure in our late 30s;)

But what I DO know is that had I not been committed to living Full On, to not making excuses, to not wasting any more of my precious life energy doing anything I do not want to be doing, to being willing to take the risks…I could have missed out on this. All of it.

If you’ve vomited after this, I completely understand. For me, it is The Notebook in real life, after all. Well, The Notebook minus the horse races and white picket fence and white people and one of us being an aristocrat part. Well, minus lots of things from that…but PLUS many more of our own flavahs.

I’ll admit that I own The Notebook, and everyone told me it was Hollywood bullshit, by the way. And yes, I know many of you are devastatingly disappointed by my admitting that, but oh well;) It is the only love story movie I own. The rest are Kung Fu flicks and the Star Wars series. However, I bought it because when I watched it, it reminded me not that my true love was still out there “somewhere,” but that life was too short to make up excuses for not living fully.

I liked being reminded of that, because for me it did so not in a woo woo way, or in a bullshit “Hollywood is trying to make you feel bad about your life” kind of way, but in a “Cut the BS and get off yer ass and go get it, even if you end up disappointing others by staying true to yourself. Life is too short!” type of way. I think it was because I KNEW that was true for me, and I needed to be reminded not to make up excuses anymore. I wasn’t waiting for my prince charming. I just had to have the balls to stop getting in my own way about it.

I still really do believe that it is not about if we stay “together forever” that defines true love, but rather this expansive wholeness that I feel in my heart. To feel this, even only for a brief while, is kissing God. So although I have every reason to believe this is a continuation of another lifetime and will continue to be so, this really, truly, for realz, is enough.

So have you not told someone you care for about your heart? Have you not forgiven someone who desperately wants you to? Have you not apologized for hurting someone, even if you didn’t mean to? Today, PLEASE do something about one thing that you would regret if you put it off. You never know what second chances might open up for you.

PS: I also skied up Near Point and watched cool sunsets;)

At the top of Near Point, Anchorage, AK

 

Note: Ana Neff is a personal life coach, guide and FreedomJunkie™ She helps individuals awaken their lives of freedom and personal success with confidence, clarity, self-love, and passion. Her monthly Jedi Juice ™ eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. Her Full-On 365 blog posts stem from her commitment to living full-on, every day, for 365 days in a row. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download  her FREE Getting Clear Guide by signing up at anaverzone.com! Sign up for her next FREE Jedi Juice Training call at anaverzone.com/jedi-juice

 

Days 48 and 49 – Being Oversensitive Sucks

Yesterday was a mellow day of sleeping, fixing up the yurt, then eating pizza with friends as we watched footage from our epic weekend (see below). There was such an awesome sense of community all weekend, and it was nice to fade into the rest of the week with a nice eve with amigos. It would have been even better had I not had my little uber-sensitive gremlin come up again. It had been awhile, so I was taken off guard. Can I pretty please blame it on my new birth control pills? Arrrgh.

I got all sensitive about how hard I was having to work the past few months and as a result, how I wasn’t as fit as I normally am (because of so many various reasons that we have all made up in our heads about that one before) and not being as, well, fun because I didn’t have as much energy as usual. I did that whole “I’m going to compare myself to other people” crap and that is never a good idea. Then I blamed my partner for comparing me, which he totally wasn’t (You should have seen me try to pull off that one! Good thing he’s on my gremlin’s* ass). Then I felt shitty about all that. Then I felt shitty about feeling shitty because deep down I know my life is sahweet and life is too short for feeling shitty!

Then I did the full on thing and said to my partner, gulp, “I’m sorry for freaking out,” and totally owned  my crap. Then today I did my mental Jedi juju stuff and told my gremlin to get the fuck out of my head and heart and let me live the bad ass life I am destined to be living. Yes, sometimes you need to be that harsh with The Gremlin. Sometimes it is good to say something sweet, like “Thank you for trying to protect me, but I don’t need that anymore.” And sometimes you just need to tell it to shut the f#*k up (I am trying to minimize my swearing for my mother…at least for this paragraph).

*What’s a gremlin? A fancy coaching term for it is also The Saboteur. The gremlins/saboteurs are the voices that tell you you are not capable or deserving enough to be happy and fulfilled. Like when one of my Freedom Junkie coaching clients says she wants to write a book, her gremlin says it is too expensive, or that she has nothing original to say. Another client’s gremlin tells her she can’t possibly have a career with her art because that is not “realistic.” One of mine (and apparently of many friends and clients) is that we aren’t worthy of love because if someone really knew who we were, they’d realize we aren’t perfect.

WTF! How crazy negative is that??!!! Very. And we ALL have them. Watch. Just for a day. Or an hour, even. You’ll notice them a lot. But don’t get down on yourself about it. It’s the way our brain works, and it is re-wireable. And you’re not broken because you have them. You are human!

It is best to learn about and acknowledge your gremlins, maybe even personify them (like have them look like the mean schoolteacher or a troll) and then come up with a system to shut them up. Where saboteurs speak from is fear, NOT TRUTH. You MUST remember this. NOT TRUTH.

When you hear a voice of TRUTH, it is very different. It speaks in a compassionate and clear voice. It is not one of fear or anger or belittling.

And know that saboteurs come up right when you are about to do some seriously bad-ass living, like right when you are about to be totally content in your relationship, or right when you are about to feel confident enough to quit your job, or right when you are about to come completely out of debt. Or right when you just had an epically fun weekend with your boyfriend and awesome friends skiing in the Alaskan backcountry, for example. They often cause us to (duh) sabotage our own happiness at these crucial moments.

So get out of your own way, and tell your gremlins to shut up so you can get on living you awesome life. It can be tricky. Trust me: this morning, when I decided not to drop into my saboteur’s story, I had to dig deep to believe that I was not hearing truth in those words, and I had to dig deep to come up with what I knew to be true. It was more difficult than usual because I have been so tired. But thankfully, I’ve had years of practice, which makes it much easier over time (I promise!). If you need some help with your own gremlins, let me know! A team often helps;)

For now, I am going to resume my bad ass life and head out for another ski. Did I mention the sun sets at 8:15 in Anchorage these days. Supah sahweet!

PS: As promised, here is more footage from the past few days:

http://youtu.be/tHlzDWSaCtU

Above is a video of one of our earlier runs

Below is a video of Tony and his dog, Pup Pup, on the first run off the summit of HaleBop (after you’ve admired Tony’s moves, rewind and watch Pup Pup run in his fresh tracks…awesome!)

http://youtu.be/mU_B1wiBo80

Note: Ana Neff is known as the Freedom Mentor™. She helps individuals awaken their lives, their businesses, and their success with radiant inner confidence. Her monthly Ziji Up! eZine goes out to hundreds of subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can learn more about her coaching programs and download her FREE Getting Clear Guide by visiting www.FreedomJunkie.com